Dear B*tch at the Park,
I want to thank you for bring back my son from wandering around the park, but I think you have some superiority issues you need to deal with.
The first time you brought him to me, I don’t think was warranted because the splash park that we were at is enclosed by a fence with only 2 openings. He was playing by the swings and trees which are both surrounded by fence. Why you had a problem with this I do not know, but thank you for bring him back all concerned for his well being, but he was fine. You were polite and you promptly left after returning him. Thank you.
The second time you brought him back you had an attitude. I was quite shocked and appalled to say the least. I’m not too sure what kind of reaction you were looking for, but I obviously didn’t give you what you wanted. You found him walking in the parking lot heading down towards the river. Thank you for bring him back safely to me. I politely thanked you, but you refused to let him go.
“I’m hesitant to release him into your care, because you are not taking care of him and he’ll probably wander away again.”
Sooooooo, what? Did you want to keep him? *sigh* Alright. I’ll play along.
‘Well, I suppose I can always make more. I am still fertile. His name is Brandon and he likes cheese. Brandon this skinny assed, beady eyed, hooked nosed, balding scraggly brown haired bitch here wants to take you home. Do you want to go home with her? No? Sorry lady, you’re out of luck. The kid is scared of you. I guess you’ll have release him into my care.’
“If you have too many children here to watch and take care of I suggest you pack up and go home…. immediately.”
‘I’ll take that into consideration bitch, but last time I checked you don’t own this public park and I don’t know who made you the Park Nazi, but I can do whatever the hell I want. I also plan to leave whenever the hell I want and you, nor anyone else can tell me otherwise. You ignorant, arrogant, little cunt.
*sniff, sniff* You need to go home yourself, you reek of bitch. You need to take a shower to cool off and take some bitch off cuz you are really stanky. Maybe have some sex too and that will make you happier. In the mean time stay the fuck out of my personal space or I’ll kick your ass!’
Sincerely,
Joanne