The journey between here and there

So I’m surfing my web pages and this guy Trent from Pink is the new blog has a funny website devoted to pictures of celebrities. He usually makes fun of them and points out funny things or makes up funny comments.

I was hoping he’d one day put Tom Welling on his blog. Today is a happy day! He finally he put my Tommy up. You have to scroll to the bottom to see the picture of Tom and the comments.

Some people complained to Trent saying the image was a photo manipulation. So he got a clip from the show and ran it again. It’s not fake! The man is well endowed.

It looks like Erica’s comments dealing with Mr. Welling are true after all…

Quote from an interview she gave:
Erica Durance, who plays Lois Lane this season, was impressed when the two stars shot a scene in which Tom was naked in a cornfield. “Tom had the appropriate parts covered,” says Durance, “but I still had to tell myself, ‘Keep looking up!’ I will tell you, he isn’t Superman for nothing!”

Just to reply to Trent’s question. “Daaaamn … what is that boy smuggling in his pants?”

It’s a banana Trent… It’s a banana…And might I say, that’s quite the banana!

I always get these comments from people and I’m not to sure how to handle them. These are the top 3 comments I hear most often and said with a surprised tone.

1. YOU are a Mormon? You don’t look like a Mormon!

2. YOU have 4 kids? You don’t look like you would have 4 kids!

3. YOU lived on a farm? You don’t look like a farm girl!

*sigh* Now these comments are said with no explanation and always by complete strangers. So trying not to be rude I just look at these people like they are from Mars and then reaffirm that Yes, I am Mormon and Yes I go to church every Sunday. Yes, I have 4 kids and yes they are all mine. Yes I lived on a farm until I was 18 when I left the hole for the big city.

I just don’t get it. Monday I was bombarded by #1 and #2 when I went over to Bowness Park for a Ward picnic. We went with friends and happened to meet up with one of their friends while we were there. Once she asked #1 I got annoyed and said, “Why? What do I look like? Why don’t I look like a Mormon?”

To which she looks at me and laughs, “Well, you wear those shirts that show your belly and you’re so bouncy and bubbly and all over the place.”

“My belly isn’t showing!” I looked down to check and no. My black Banana Republic shirt came to the top of my low-rise Capri’s. I guess when I reach my arms up my shirt my does raise up to reveal my midriff, but I don’t like shirts that go down to my knees or to my crotch for that matter. I don’t like baggy shirts unless I’m frumping around the house. They make me feel like crap.

“Well, we are all in sweat shirts and clothes like this and you’re not,” she responds.

“Well, hey, like my friend Julianne always says, ‘If you got it, flaunt it.’ I like to look like a yummy mummy. This is how I dress. I’m wearing a sweater too, it’s just a cardigan.”

“Well, you just have red painted toes with red flip flops that have bling on them….”

“Oh please, they are fake diamonds. These are from Old Navy! I don’t see what’s wrong with wearing these….”

For freak sakes! Just cuz I don’t dress like a slob and don’t look like I just rolled out of bed in the morning doesn’t mean I don’t look like a Mormon. I mean what the hell?!? My shirts are fitted, not tight, tight, but fitted. I don’t have abs, and my stomach isn’t as flat as it used to be, but I don’t have a rolly bulge. I know how to dress according to my body type. I don’t like to wear baggy clothes, I’m not a 15 year old rapper boy.

I can’t help it that I’m not fat just cuz I have 4 kids. I eat whatever I want, my only exercise is chasing after 4 kids. There’s no secret. I just have good genes and a fast metabolism. So don’t get cranky at me cuz you feel bad about yourself. I get so defensive cuz it comes across like a put down. Well, screw you. Screw you all! I’ll dress how I want, cuz I don’t think I’m dressing like a prostitute on the corner of 3rd Ave.

The other comment I got was #2. I’m sure people are trying to be nice, but it sure is coming across as rude.

“Wow! 4 already? You should have more, because if you look like that and they look so cute, you should really think about having more,” lady comments to me at the park.

“Thank you, but the 4 I have is making me go crazy as it is. Do I look like the poster woman for Breeders R’ Us? Thanks, but I think I’ve already gone above and beyond the call of duty,” I laugh it off.

Snarly mean me feels like saying,
“Really? You only have 2? Well, maybe you should have more, cuz you’re fat already and your kids look so cute. If you get pregnant again, you’re already fat so hey, why not have another kid?”

Why can’t people leave me alone and keep their asinine comments to themselves?

and more laundry baskets. I do about 11 - 15 loads of laundry a week. I constantly have laundry baskets that line the upstairs hallways filled with clothes. Now they are folded, so it’s not like a total mess. Everything is sorted according to each child, folded nice and neatly straight from the dryer. I like the washing, drying and the folding process but I hate, hate, hate the putting away part. Weird I know, but I just really hate that part. If you need something, look through the basket.

When I do more laundry that is usually when I give in and put clothes away just so I have a basket to put another load of clothes into. I already have 8 large laundry baskets.

Friends always laugh and make fun of me because there’s laundry baskets upstairs all the time. Today I decided to give in and just put everything away in closets and drawers. I must say WOW! It really does amaze me how wide my halls really are. I feel my mind becoming clearer cuz there’s no clutter in the hall and I no longer am tripping over the laundry baskets.

That being said, I still feel the need to get just one more basket. I’m glad Walmart is close to home. It makes me happy to be able to go out on my deck, look out the South-East corner and see Walmart. I wave. “Hi Walmart! I’ll be there soon to spend Ryan’s hard earned money.”

Ryan hates Walmart. When we first moved to Okotoks there was no Walmart in town. He was thrilled. He saved money cuz I didn’t go into Calgary that often. He no longer had to “lose” my keys so I couldn’t go out shopping anymore. He cursed Walmart once he found out they’d be coming to town. I did my happy dance. My happy dance is like Elaine’s off of Seinfeld.

Then Macs came along! Whoo hooo! Slushies anytime I want! We are only 5 houses away from Macs. Now Blockbuster has opened up a block from our house too! Yipee! No more late charges! Oh happy day! Everything is so close to our house, I’m just all smiles.

Now when I wake up in the morning I go out on our deck and face North-East wave to Blockbuster, I look to the South-East and in the distance I see Walmart. “Good morning Blockbuster, Top o’ the day to ya Walmart.” Then I scowl at the high school kids as they come screeching into the parking lot of high school across the street with the stereos blasting, the base thumping and the hot wheel emblem splashed across the side of their trucks or cars.

Bunch of show offs. Sheesh. They better just watch out cuz one day I’ll challenge those little pimple faced, hormone raging kidlets to a race. I’ll show them a trick or two and I swear I could kick their ass in my minivan. It’s amazing how much speed a minivan can get and how well that puppy can corner. Not as good as the Bishop’s Ferrari mind you, but I know how to make that baby move. Whatever doesn’t move out of my way, I just ba-bump over it. I gots me some racn’ stripes too! May not look like the hot wheels emblem… but hey, it works. *sigh* I miss my racin’ days.