Dear body,
Wow, so not impressed with you! I asked you to stop farting so you decide to make me sit on the toilet for an hour and expell everything I’ve eated in the last 24 hours? I have never ever experience anything that horrific, vile and disgusting in my entire life.
Nice, really nice. You are so rude! I don’t appreciate it! I’m in agony. I’m nauseous, sick, dehydrated, tired, cranky and I’m dying over here. You really don’t care do you? Well, screw you! See if I eat anything for the next 24 hours except maybe a piece of toast and some water. That will teach you!
Behave!
Joanne