The journey between here and there

to the home of the City of Champions (in the 80’s), to the GWG (Great Wayne Gretzky) and the world’s 2nd largest mall (Japan just had to go build one bigger) West Edmonton Mall. Yes, on the road again with 4 kids to the Capital of Alberta: Edmonton.

I hope they all fall asleep. I’d give them some Gravol, but unfortunately this drug does not put them to sleep, it makes them over the top hyper. So we’ll be singing, “The wheels on the bus go ’round and ’round”, “Sunbeam”, “Popcorn Popping” and any other song that happens to come gushing out of their mouths.

*sigh* I can already hear the, “Are we there yet? I’m hungry! I’m thirsty! Stop that! Mom he spit juice at me! Mom he’s blowing bubbles in his juice! Mom he touched me! Mom he’s touching my seat!, Mom he’s leaning on me! Mom he licked me! Mom he spit in my hair! Mom he pinched me! Mom he pulled my hair! Mom he spit in my eye! Mom he blew in my ear! Mom he looked at me! Mom he took my toy!” And of course my favorite, the ear piercing, hair raising, nails on chalkboard shrilly scream of Mya and whine of Brandon who still cannot talk in coherent sentences yet.

We are going to Ryan’s brothers daughters 1st birthday, so Ryan’s niece. Being that this is J&M’s first child they are the typical overbearing, over the top parents… you know the anal retentive type who do everything by the book, cuz it said so on page 131 of ‘What to expect in the newborn’ saga. *sigh* I’m sure I was that anal with Laura, but it’s annoying as hell to watch and see other people go through it. I need to work on patience.

The mom is making us all wear Halloween costumes… what am I going to be? OOoooohhh the choices… well, I could go as a stressed out frazzled mother, a cranky wife, a bitch… err.. I mean witch, or the bride of Frankenstein. Ryan says I should go as a Desperate Housewife. I really was looking forward to going to this 1st birthday party now I’m annoyed cuz I have to dress up. Heh. So I’m actually going as a bitch…
no, not that kind. The dog variety.

I suppose I don’t have to dress up, but then I’ll get the smart assed comments like, ‘Oh that’s a scary costume!’, etc. Which I laugh at, but in my little world I feel like slapping them upside the head with a rotting carcass. ‘Hehehe… that’s funny! *smack*’ Idiots.

*sigh* I can’t stand Ryan’s family. They drive me insane!!! It takes so much will power and self control not to snap and lose it on them. I just chatter about whatever trivial nonsensical thing that happens to traverse across my brain at the moment, blurting out my opinions and my lil observations on life as I see it. I try to keep everything light, airy and fun.. However, once I get pissed by all their asinine comments, I quiet down and seethe. Images of me bonking them over the head with a cast iron frying pan fill my thoughts as I smile politely while they try to bait me with their rude remarks.

I guess I’m fun to watch when I’m frazzled, so people tell me anyway. It’s always a game, ‘Let’s see if we can get a reaction out of Joanne today!’ Yeah, really fun. Depending on the mood I’m in, sometimes I’ll play along and sometimes I won’t. I hate being ruled by my moods and hormones. It sucks. I have to make a serious concentrated effort to paste a smile on my face when all I want to do is smash their heads together and say, “dummy, dummy, dummy, dummy GO. AWAY.”

I can handle his family two times a year, but every month is just killing me. One day I’m going to snap. If we moved away and I never spoke to them again I’d be oh so happy. Every single family member drives me insane in some way… it’s been 10 years now and I STILL can’t get over their annoying little personality traits. How did Ryan come out of this family not being so annoying…. Oh… wait…he didn’t…. never mind.

His brother is an engineer, so he thinks he’s God’s gift to the world. He is such an arrogant, know-it-all that makes me want to wring his neck… Hmmm… I have lots of pent up aggression for some reason. I dunno. I like his wife, but she has the personality of stale bread. It’s so hard to have a conversation with her. She’s very closed off and I find it hard to break down the wall of ice. They are both on the anal retentive side which makes it really hard to kick back and relax around.

… and YES! I would like some cheese with my whine. German butter cheese preferably. Please and spank you.

*sigh* I suppose I should be positive and grateful over something, but right now I’m too tired and too grumbly to think of what.

I’m having computer troubles.

Ya know, sometimes it really bugs me that I don’t get things right away. OK, it seriously drives me crazy. Sometimes I wish I were smart, so I could understand everything that was put before me and could figure something out like, “shazam!!!”

But then I sometimes think ignorance is bliss and sometimes I DON’T want to get it or understand what people are trying to tell me.

Well, I knew this vampire episode was going to be stupid… and the stuff with Lana in it was. I just shook my head and wished the writers would make her die. She’s turning into a terrible character and it seems like the writers are grasping at straws. I think the writers have destroyed her character.

What I liked:
Brainiac and Lex. WOW! LOVED IT! The dialogue was amazing. The acting was top notch. I was thrilled. Just thrilled! Lex has met his match. This is a fantastic story! I really like Brainiac and I enjoy watching his character develop.

Chloe at the Daily Planet. I loved the interaction with Princess Leia(Chief). I really like that Chloe sticks up for herself and fights for what she wants. She has such a strong will. Fabulous! I felt a sense of trouble and doom for Chloe at the end. I think her days may be numbered. I’m beginning to really like Chloe, I think she’s the best female character on the show.

I liked that the stupid vampire story was told through Chloe’s article/narration.

There were 2 action scenes that I liked. Lana falling down the stairs and crashing through Lex’s sky windows were enjoyable to watch. Way to go stunt double!

What I disliked:
The ridiculous vampire story line. Everything about it was stupid. I’m not even going to waste my time on it but just say it was horrible and stupid.

So to grade this episode I’m going to break it down like this:

Vampire storyline: 0 out of 5
Brainiac/Lex/Clark: 5 out of 5
Chloe/Chief Leia: 4.8 out of 5 (Chloe’s acting could have been a smooch better in the showdown with the Chief. It seemed forced.)

Next week: Lois shows off her tata’s once again… ya know if they are going to doing gratuitous shows like these why not have Clark do a strip tease? The storyline next week seems so ridiculous they might as well have Clark and Lois gyrating around a pole together. *sigh* If Lois is going to be the next bimbo on this show flaunting her ‘girls’ I’m annoyed. Sure, show some skin, but not every episode writers! I’m going to start calling Lois Hooters. I wish the writers would develop a better storyline for Lois. It’s a shame really. Give the girl a purpose besides being a thorn in Clark’s side. That’s old and done with, move on.

I love the smell of autumn. The leaves crunching under your feet and the smell of decaying leaves. It’s just a wonderful smell. It makes me want to run. My adrenaline starts pumping when I inhale these fall smells.

When I was in school, I used to run Cross Country in the fall. The smell and sound of the leaves reminds me of the daily runs I would go on. It reminds me of the race, the hunt and the win.

I really enjoy running and I need to figure out a way to start running again. I would love to do a marathon.

People always tell me that there is a time and a season for everything. I suppose if I wanted it bad enough I could make it happen, but for right now I’m content to raise the kidlets.

I wish Autumn would last for 3 months. I wish the leaves would take their sweet time turning orange, yellow, red and purple before dropping to the ground. If I could create the seasons I’d have 3 months of spring, summer, fall and winter. I would want a huge dump of snow in the winter and a slow warm spring to melt it all so there would be no floods. I’m so sick of seeing brown grass and leafless trees for such a long time without any snow on them.

I love the seasons and I’m glad I’m able to experience all four. They are beautiful, magnificent and humbling.

I really loved it again! Wow! My Smallville just keeps getting better! Wow.

The Good:

I really like the morning lighting that is used in this shot. Smallville has excellent lighting. I must say the Clark and Lana bedroom scene was cute. But Clark waking up in the morning with the sunlight streaming through the window was really, really sexy and so hot. Clark and Lana have really great chemistry.

Clark/Tom has really great facial expressions.

I was laughing so hard when he got busted by his parents. Tom really is an excellent actor. He has a great range of emotions. I loved the look on his face when he saw his parents at the end and gave them a hug. He had such a mix of emotions and you could really see it on his face.

Sadness, pain, worry, guilt, concern, remorse and relief.

Fantastic ‘getting shot’ scene. I liked the blood coming out of his mouth effect.

After Clark was shot and lying in the hospital there is a great scene between Clark and Lana. I thought it was a really sweet and tender moment between the two of them, when he wakes up and looks at Lana before he flatlines.

Lionel being taken over by Jor-El? Wow! I never would have suspected it! I really liked the scene between Clark and Jor-El/Lionel in the fortress of solitude. Clark having to exchange his life for someone he loves. I liked that, although I wonder why it could not be for the stupid teenage kid that set off the nuke and shot Clark in the first place.

Seeing Clark and Chloe run around solving mysteries reminds me of ‘Nancy Drew’ and ‘The Hardy Boys’. I like it. I really love watch Chloe and Clark interact. They have so many great lines together. You can really see and feel a bond between the two of them.

I loved, loved, loved watching Clark zip over, jump/fly towards the missile and dismantle the bomb. That was the BEST! The action was great. I just loved every part of it! Although I kind of wanted to see Clark land on the ground with the thing. I was hoping it would continue to show Clark falling down towards earth and landing/crashing on the ground.

I loved Chloe’s comment to Clark when they are in the barn, “unscathed on the surface.” This just struck a chord with me on so many levels. The barn scene is just such a sweet moment.

I loved the Lex/Lionel scenes. Lex must just be going CRAZY cuz no one ever tells him the truth. This must just eat him up inside. Great acting, great writing.

The not so good…
Things that made me go hmmm…? and troubled my lil’ brain.

*I really don’t believe that a teenager can set off a nuclear device. You need a password from the President and I’m sure there’s lots of security around these nuclear weapons. How did he get in? It doesn’t make sense. If the dad did it, I would have an easier time swallowing this. The “my dad taught me” line was retarded. I don’t believe it. No kid is that smart.

*When they sneak downstairs I wonder why Lana doesn’t leave out the back door. It is the quickest exit out.

*Where is Chloe’s dad in all this? Why doesn’t she lament the potential loss of her dad? Why isn’t her dad helping her pack or saying goodbye? It would be nice for them to show a parental support not only for Clark, but for Chloe as well.

*It seemed so odd for Clark to jump out from behind the tractor and start yelling at Gabriel. This scene bugged me and I still can’t figure out why. It just doesn’t jive.

*Who called the ambulance for Clark? How did Jonathan and Martha find out he was shot?

*When Lana cries, she doesn’t have tears rolling down her cheeks. She was crying really hard and she has no tear ducts it seems. I have issues with this. When someone is crying in real life, tears fall. I hate the fake crying on TV. It drives me crazy. These actresses heave, sob and wail yet no tears are streaking down their face. That bugs me. It really does. Put some of that fake tear drops in your eyes. Just make the crying scenes better. I want to see tears damn-it AND a runny nose! (Runny nose only if they are crying really hard) It makes it more realistic. When I don’t see tears it draws me out of the story.

I was crying when Clark died. Yes, I got into this episode. Tears were running down my cheeks. Just the very thought of Tom dying made me cry. What ever would I do without any Tommy in my life?

*Why am I starting to feel a disdain towards Lana? She’s really annoying me. Writers have only themselves to blame for writing such a whiny, annoying character. How did Lana get Clark’s medical file? That really bugged me. What’s she doing with it? She’s not his wife. How did she get access to his personal medical file? She barges in, huffs and puffs and blows some hot air around at Lex then stomps out. At least make her seem a little intelligent! Even I felt like slapping her.

*Why oh why does Lana come through the back door? She ALWAYS goes through the front door. Now she comes through the back? Huh? I don’t get it. This little trivial thing really bothered me. Clark’s reaction towards Lana was great. This performance seemed forced on Kristin’s part. Something just didn’t feel right in this scene with Kristin. Her performance was lacking here.

*I also didn’t like the odd shot towards the end where Clark lifts her in the air and she kind of hangs their like a limp rag doll. It just looked funny. The close up shots of the two of them were great, but it was just bad editing. The hanging Lana should have been cut.

Despite the fact that the nuke is set off by a teenager (totally unbelievable) I’m still going to give it a 5 out of 5. The scene of him dismantling the missile just made me giddy and happy all over.

To the woman that ruined the last 30 minutes of Ryan’s surprise birthday party, I just have this to say:

This is a long one. I had to switch from the telephone company voice mail and to a regular answering machine that lets me leave a 5 min. message. This is the one that gets the most laughs and call backs. This one also irritates the hell out of my friends because it is so long…they keep forgetting to push * to by-pass the message. I say this in my professional secretary voice.

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press — no-one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8, state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother’s maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk with you.

*sigh*…. and down, down goes the show. *ugh* The writers deserve a slap in the head with a stinky rotting fish for writing this garbage. What’s wrong with them? I think some writers should be fired. Why can’t all the episodes be good? Why must there be fillers?

The Good:
Brainiac and Clark: Great interaction! Good writing. Fabulous acting!

Lex and Aquaman interaction when Aquaman is tied to the table. “On land, I’m the shark.” I liked that…

Aquaman had a nice body and he called Lois on her crap.

This guy looks like a goof, but wow! Holy Shiitake mushrooms superman! He’s got a nice body. Hey Clark/Tom, take a good look.

The Bad:
Clark/Tom: GO. TO. THE. GYM!!! Please! Oh for the love of abs! Run to the gym!

You’re letting yourself go! Put down the twinky, the burger, the Krispe Kreme donut. Drop and give me 1000 sit-ups.

Oh no! Say it ain’t so! Tell me those are not love handles! For the love of shirtless scenes Tom, GO TO THE GYM! … Let yourself go when the show is over and you’re no longer on TV, but while on TV do something about your flabby belly and your arms. Please. I’m begging you. You can do it!

I want to see more of this:

Now that’s more like it!

Aquaman: The writers made him sound like an idiot. It’s hard to see him as smart or take him seriously when he ends his sentences with Bro. I was waiting for him to say, ‘Dude or Like or Totally.’ Tool? Bro? Come on!

Lois and Aquaman swimming. That’s swimming Lois?!? It looked like she was dog paddling not swimming! That was the worst swimming I’ve ever seen!

Clark and Aquaman confronting Lex. It was poorly written. The acting by Aquaman is laughable. He needs to polish his acting skills.

Clark and Aquaman fighting underwater. You could hardly see what was going on! Once the blows started happening it was good, but less staring and swimming, more fighting!

Aquaman healing and the restoration of his powers. It just looked stupid… poorly acted. It was laughable. When AC put up his arms I thought he was a WWF wrestler that just won a match.

I thought he was going to scream, “AAARRRRRGGGG!!!!” It was funny/silly.

The cheesy line of: ‘When we’re all grown up, let’s be in the JLA, blah, blah’ Similar to the line Flash used… except Flash had the better line. That was a great line that Flash delivered, but it came out sounding stupid when AC said something similar. AC needed a better line.

The goodbye scene between Aquaman and Lois. After pursing her so hotly why all of a sudden the cold shoulder? Just because Lex is after him? If Lex wanted to catch him, I’m sure he could have, since the goodbye spot was where AC got shot by the dart. If he really liked Lois, he could have arranged something; Lois travels all over the world. It was just poorly written and didn’t make sense.

The cheesy scene at the end where Clark tells Lois that she’ll find another guy to save the world… *rolling my eyes* Gag me with a spoon. It just sounded stupid.

Why does Clark keep going to Lex? Hasn’t he figured out by now that Lex just blows him off?

Why does Lex keep letting Clark into the mansion when all Clark does is whine and berate him? I mean Lex mentions he’s getting sick of him barging in, but DO something about it Lex!

The Ugly:
The Lois and Aquaman scenes which don’t add anything to the main story of CLARK AND LEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They were trying to put this romance through when it didn’t have anything to do with the main story! Those two had NO CHEMISTRY. Fishboy was trying too hard. The acting was forced. It wasn’t natural. It was STUPID!!!! It seriously angers me that they write this junk in, when really… What was the POINT??!!??

The Editing… It was terrible. Was it done by a blind monkey? They could have shaved minutes off and put more good story line by not linger over ta-ta’s and abs…. not that I’m against the ta-ta or ab showing, but it was just a bit too over the top. Also, throughout the show, it just seemed… choppy. Are they having interns editing their show? What’s going on here?

The Storyline: Aquaman comes to Smallville to find out why the fishes in the sea are dying. He finds out that Lex is making some weapon that will destroy submarines and all fish in the sea. Clark and Aqua destroy the machine and “save the ocean.” …ummm… Lex CAN just rebuild it. He still has the plans and I’m sure he can build another weapon, then ask the government to take a look at the trial run again. Lex is one that isn’t deterred so easily. If he has his mind set on something, he’ll still pursue it… so don’t wave your pom pom’s in the air saying ‘hooray we saved the ocean’ when it’s just a matter of time until Lex builds another weapon.

It just felt like the writers came up with a bunch of story lines that didn’t connect or make sense with one another. Everything seemed jumbled up, chewed up and barfed out. Poor storyline. Poor writing. These writers need to go back to school.

I’m so disappointed. It could have been so much better. I wish it would have worked because I think the idea of an Aquaman storyline had potential… it really did. The writers once again screwed it up. *sigh* … and here I thought the Smallville was going to recover from a horrible Season 4. This episode belongs in Season 4 with the rest of the terrible writing.

2 out of 5. I’m being generous… very, very generous because I love this show so much and really hope that it gets better not worse…although after seeing the previews for next weeks show, I’m already worried.

(click on the picture to see it large)

This cartoon strip mimics my life. Calvin are my boys and I’m the mother… *sigh* not too long ago(ok fine… 24 years ago), I used to be Calvin…

I can’t wait to buy “The Complete Calvin and Hobbes” Hardcover edition. I saw it at Costco, so I think Mya will be buying me a Christmas gift this year!

So I received this via email… these signs are hilarious. What were people thinking?

Just in case Batman forgets?

Hmm…. decisions, decisions… that’s a tough one.

Well, thank goodness!!! Up until now, only 36% of women have been able to find this!

What?!? Awww… what a bunch of party poopers… Humping is fun!…. Ya know, I really would like to find out what happened to motivate someone to put up a sign like this…

Ahh… yes, a man’s best friend…Every guy needs one of those! Interesting marketing angle.

Well, how the heck am I suppose to get in? via the EXIT???

I really hope the emergency is not too urgent!

Mmmm…. nothing says lovn’ like Diesel fried chicken. Sounds tasty doesn’t it?

Now there’s a sneaky way to swear on a sign!

And you thought that particular personality trait wouldn’t look good on your resume…

Really? This is for those guys that are too lazy to do it themselves and want to treat themselves to a good rub down??? Well, hygiene is important.

It’s a man’s dream come true.

Geez, not even an emergency phone?

To calm those stressed out rabbits.

NO! The other right! You’re going the wrong way!!!

Well, obviously it’s not a secret anymore!!!

Really? Are people that stupid they can’t figure that out on their own? It’s not rocket science people!

So Ryan brought home a kitty last week. When he brought it home it was at 10pm and the kids were all ready in bed. When it came home it was soooo happy to be here. It climbed up my leg and curled itself around my neck. Then it jumped into my lap, curled up and went to sleep in my lap. Awwwww… It was a very happy kitty and happy that she was rescued from being drowned. She had food, water and a comfortable little box to sleep in…. well… 10 hours later I’m sure the kitty was wishing it was drowned….

The kids woke up at 8:00am and we showed them the kitten. They went crazy over this cat. They hugged it, petted it, put it in their lap, kissed it, nuzzled into it’s fur, carried it around, and squeezed the piss out of it. Well, after repeatedly telling the boys to be gentle, leave the cat alone and be careful, they settled down. So I left the kitten in their care and went downstairs to go on the computer. They come down, not 10 minutes later and have the kitten stuffed in a pail. She happens to hop out and hide behind a big picture I have leaning against the wall.

The kitten seemed unusually quiet, still and tired. I didn’t really pay attention. I just thought it wanted to get away from the boys so I put it out in the garage for a while so it could get some peace and quiet. It wasn’t until later that day when I brought the kitten back in to eat that I noticed she was limping. Her right foot had swollen up and she wasn’t putting any pressure on it.

Awww… man… only here for a few hours and they have already injured the kitten. The boys played innocent, but I know they did something to her as they tried to put her in the pail earlier. I showed them what happened and explained that they had to be gentle with her. Since they were not nice to the kitten, I banned the boys from touching or playing with the kitten. I placed her on top of the fridge where she happily slept in a little basket. When she wanted down she would meow and I would let her eat or take her to the bathroom. At least she was safe.

I waited for a couple of days hoping it’s just a sprain and she’d get over it. I did not want to take it to a vet and pay a jabajillion dollars to have x- rays, etc. Her foot didn’t get any better and in fact seem to swell more and more.

Ryan reminded me that the neighbor next door was a vet. So on Thanksgiving I went over and asked him to take a look at the kitten…. He checked her out for free and sure enough she had a broken bone in her foot. *sigh* Thankfully he gave told me how to put a cast on her and gave me bandages that don’t stick to the cat fur but adhere to the bandage.

Ryan and I doctored the kitten then brought it over to the neighbor to take a look. He said we did it perfect. So now “Bebe” the kitten has a little purple cast that goes around her foot.

She does not like it, but I think she’s in too much pain and too sore to remove it. Poor lil’ kitty. The neighbor said cats heal well and they heal very quickly… she should be healed in a month or so… A MONTH?!? Yikes. Man, I guess that’s why cats have 9 lives… well.. ours only has 8 now…

You Are A: Kitten!

Cute as can be, kittens are playful, mischevious, and ever-curious. Your mischevious side is part of what makes you a kitten, as is your dislike of getting wet! Kittens are often loving, but are known to scratch or bite when annoyed. Whether it is your gentle purr or your disarming appearance, you make a wonderful kitten.

You were almost a: Parakeet or a Bear Cub
You are least like a: Chipmunk or a GroundhogWhat Cute Animal Are You?

HAHAHA!!! The funny thing about this is that it’s true! Except I also pinch and/or hit when I’m annoyed.

Something nifty…

1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same. (Yeeeeeah… No, I don’t think so.)

My 23 post, 5th sentence:

“I’m done, 4 is plenty. I’ve multiplied and reproduced. ”

….and I still think that today.

Supper is a crazy time in our house… well, every time is a crazy time, but this time especially. After supper all the kids flew off to terrorize the kitten, Ryan and I were left with a few moments of peace. I turned to Ryan and said, “Man, I don’t know what’s wrong with me… I used to be able to handle chaos. Now I can barely tolerate it.”

“That’s because YOU WERE THE CHAOS,” he reminds me.

“Ah yes. Well then, that makes all the difference then doesn’t it.”

I’ve been tagged by Cyli so I’ll play. Some of these are more than 7. I get a little carried away.

7 things I plan to do before I die:
~Travel the world
~Go on a mission
~Go back to school and get a degree in education, psychology, English, creative writing or criminology
~Drive one of those street racing bikes
~Finish scrapbooking
~Run in a marathon
~Write and publish a children’s book
~Take singing lessons
~Play the piano really, really well
~Learn to fly a plane
~Learn to draw
~Learn to paint
~Learn more about computers
~Learn to dance

7 things I can do:

~Cook and bake
~Play the accordion
~Talk really fast
~Talk a lot about nothing
~Make my kids laugh
~Play
~Whistle any tune really well. I need to enter in those whistling contests. Oh yeah, I’m THAT good.

7 things I cannot do:

~Fly. I keep hoping I’ll just take off like Superman, but unfortunately it hasn’t happened yet. I keep jumping off the garage, but gravity keeps pulling me down. *sigh* I think I need a cape.
~Keep my mouth shut when I should. I have horrible foot in mouth syndrome.
~Park in a tight space. I have bad depth perception. I keep getting these pesky badings all over my van.
~Hold my breath for longer than 50 seconds.
~Swim in the ocean for a long time. I get claustrophobic.
~ Math. I suck. Really truly. I have no math skillz whatsoever.
~Dance. I have CRD (Caucasian Rhythm Disorder). I really have 2 left feet. No rhythm. It’s quite pathetic actually.

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:

~A great smile
~Beautiful Eyes
~Muscles. I like guys that are built.
~A sense of humor
~Intelligence
~ Kindness
~Romantic

7 things I say most often:

~ Whatever
~ Stop that!
~ Sit down!
~ Put the cat down!
~F*ck (usually hissed under my breath to myself)
~You’re hilarious!
~Hey handsome
~ I love you/ I miss you

7 celebrity crushes:

~ Tom Welling
~Tom Welling
~Tom Welling
~Tom Welling
~Tom Welling
~Tom Welling
~Tom Welling

Really there is no other that is naturally soooooo good looking (in the celebrity world.) Wow. He’s mesmerising.

Now this message gets a mixed reaction, some laugh, some think it’s rude and some have to call back 3 times before they figure out that there is no Crisis Hotline and it’s just my answering machine. I like it, I’d say it’s one of my favorites. The first 3 lines are said in a calming, demure, sweet voice. The last line is said in an angry, bitchy almost yelling voice.

“Thank you for calling the International PMS Crisis Hotline.

All our councillors are occupied at the moment. We want to help.

So please leave your name and number after the beep….

OR WE’LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR”

*BEEP*

Nothing is more frustrating than having no internet for 1 week. I went into major internet withdrawal! I usually leave the computer running constantly so I can get easy, quick access to feed my addition. Well, he turned it off last Saturday night and in doing so blew up the power thingymajigy. I was so annoyed.

I had to go over to friends houses to use their computer. I don’t like having to do that because I can only go on for 1/2 hour or an hour. I didn’t want to be rude.

Since I had nothing to distract me I turned my energies on other things. Ryan was quite please to see that the house was sparkly clean and dinner was always ready. So he didn’t get my power thingy fixed until I went on strike. I stopped cleaning and stopped cooking.

“If you’re not going to clean and you’re not going to cook, what else are you going to do?” he snarled at me after I told him I was on strike.

“You don’t want to know what my creative mind can come up with. I just might start home renovation projects like build a new closet here and tear down this wall there. Oh don’t you worry, I’ll think up some grand project, like putting a bed for you in the garage.”

He finally got the new part and installed it last night. Oh happy day. I’m back.

October 9, 2005: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, I’m just so excited!!! I was watching the new video for ‘Crazy’ by Simple Plan and I checked out their tour dates while listening to the song. I just found out that Simple Plan is coming to Calgary on November 27, 2005. I am going to go to the concert! Yipppeeee!!!! I’ll stand in line and wait for tickets, even if I’ve got to wake up at 3am or sleep over night. I want to be first in line for floor seats… That will be an amazing concert tour! If I can’t get in here I’ll go to Edmonton. They play there on November 26, 2005 and it’s only 3 hours away. Oh happy day!

UPDATE: I got up at 5:30am on Saturday, Sept. 15, 2005. Stood in line at Ticketmaster downtown Calgary from 7:00am to 10:00am. Met interesting, yet very weird people and got tickets but not the tickets I wanted. I thought I would be able to specify what area and seat in the stadium I wanted to sit at. But no. They just clicked on best available. *ARRRR* I could’ve stayed home and went on the internet myself to get tickets. *ARG* I’m so frustrated and I feel like a pirate. I could’ve gotten floor seats, but I didn’t want to be in the mosh pit. I wanted section 109 or 120 row 7 but noooooooooooo I couldn’t pick… damn Nazi’s where’s my free agency???… *sigh* Another day… another bitchfest.

But hey at least I’m going to the concert…. now I’ve got to find someone who has box seats to see if I can sneak in there.

I think this season is going to be good. *sigh of relief* I was worried that this Clark-Lana relationship was going to be dumb. When I read the spoilers about the escaped Freak of the Weeks from Belle Reeve I was worried. I was worried that this episode was going to suck as did most episodes in Season 4.

Well, thank goodness this is Season 5. I think the writers all got their butts kicked over the summer and finally realized how to write a good show.

I’m not sure about the whole Lionel Luthor plot-line this season. I’m kind of cynical and jaded now over the writers. I just hope the writers know what they are doing to this fabulous character. Lionel is now at Belle Reeve with Lex having him watched over, controlled and isolated. It’s just like ‘Shattered’ but reverse with Lionel in the Looney bin and Lex calling the shots. It’s ironic, but I don’t like how the writers use what was amazing in one episode then reuse it again just cuz fans loved it so much. Can’t they think of something more original? I dunno. As fantastic as it may be that the roles between father and son are now reversed, I’m annoyed. I’m still trying to work through this one.

Clark and Lana are all lovey dovey in their relationship. Tom is an amazing actor because you can see his love for her in his eyes. The scene of them walking, kissing, holding hands, walking on the hill was sweet.

The cheese factor starts coming out in the barn though. I really hate the romantic mushy movies so this is where this is stemming from. Very rarely are romantic movies done well, usually a lot of cheesy lines that make me roll my eyes. That being said, this is what annoyed me.

Problem 1. Oohh, we are here to get the nails, lets look for them. Tom goes straight to them. Here they are! Ta-dah! Let’s go. Let’s stay. No….errr… OK…Let’s stay. It was just awkward. Poorly written, poorly acted. Bugged me.

They start making out in the loft and things start heating up.

Problem 2: In ‘Obsession’, there was an amazing ass squeeze that Clark did to Alicia. It was HOT! Wow! So sexy. Loved the camera shot, amazing. The entire make out scene with Clark and Alicia was really good. Except good things can get old if it gets copied… AGAIN, it’s copied, except this time not so well. They are kissing, then all of a sudden the camera shot is of Clark squeezing Lana’s side? Not the same effect.

Tom’s shirt gets ripped off first. Now, Tom does look hot don’t get me wrong, the man is sexy. However, I think he needs to hit the gym to get more definition along his arms. He is suppose to be superman after all. Not like grotesque huge, just some nice definition in the triceps area. I’d like to see him looking ripped like he did in Exile. Also maybe in a little more definition in his chest as well, but just a smooch more, not too much cuz ya don’t want him to get man-tits. It would be a sad day if he develops man-tits bigger than Lana’s. It would just look funny. ANYWAY… his back and abs look great. Fantastic. I really liked the muscle rippling along his back. That was nice.

So they are making out and thankfully I don’t have to endure too long of watching them suck face. The only thing that made me roll my eyes was when he says, “I want to wait. I want this to be special just like you.” (I’m paraphrasing) I laughed out loud. Gag me with a spoon. That was such a cheesy line. I suppose you can call it honorable, sweet, respectful, which it was… but it just sounded funny to me.

Thankfully we get to leave the mushy crap and get some action. The crazies come out and attack Clark.

I like the force bubble effect, although I wonder if they stole the idea from “The Incredibles” movie.

The lick on Lana’s face was gross. I just kept thinking, ‘I wonder what he is thinking as he licks the make-up off her face. That can’t taste good.’ I also wonder how many times they did that scene cuz it would have to be gross for both the actors. HAHAA. I hope Lana starts grilling Clark on why people say the things they say to him and not just let him off the hook with one of his lame-ass excuses. I’m tired of her not getting more aggressive with him and being so polite or letting things slide.

I also getting tired and annoyed of seeing Jonathan beat up in every episode. He is constantly being attacked and thrown around. It’s getting old. The way he gets tossed around and beat up is really irritating me. He’s got to have some nasty bruises and broken bones. I feel sorry for the guy. It’s like his sole purpose on the show is to be picked on by the baddies.

With Lana’s kick boxing knowledge, you’d think she’d use some moves on the wackos. I am very happy that she does put up a fight. Nothing I hate more than when a girl just stands there saying, “Oh, oh” as her man is being thrashed. Thankfully Lana gets in on the action. Good girl, but you can do better.

Can I just say that I’m really beginning to love Chloe. At first I thought she was a bit annoying, but now I really, really like her character. I love how she stands up for herself, speaks her mind and is so smart. I just admire those qualities in a person. Allison really is a brilliant actress. I really liked the interaction between her and Lex. She’s so defiant. She’s also playing with fire so I really like the tension and the rift that is building between the two of them.

You know, I really love Clark and Chloe interaction. They make such a great team. Alison Mack is a great actress and they have nice chemistry together. I found it funny how every few minutes Chloe would always remind Clark that she couldn’t hack into blah, blah because it would take hours. The writers have obviously picked up on the fact that they were making Chloe do some impossible things before. One mention was good, but Chloe mentions it like 3 or 4 more times. Overkill.

I also giggle over the fact that the writers are turning Chloe into a mini MacGyver. I don’t mind it, I just find it amusing. Good amusing for now, but I just hope the writers don’t get carried away and go wrong with this idea. I guess it explains why she is able to 007 in and out of all kinds of places. I really like Chloe’s snarks towards Clark. “I didn’t know Super Whining was one of your abilities.” Crack me up. That was good. I love how Chloe speaks her mind.

Something that I liked to see was the continuity of Level 33.1. If that’s what it was. Was it? Maybe I’m confused. I was curious as a bat at the end of ‘Jinx’ as to what was in there. I think the Tommy Lee character mentions that he was tested. I was assuming it was Level 33.1. So when Clark and Chloe try to break in, again I was assuming they were trying to break into Level 33.1. But wasn’t 33.1 in metropolis? Hmmm… I don’t know. I must be confused. I probably am. If it wasn’t Level 33.1 I really wish the writers would do something about this level cuz I haven’t forgotten about it and it has lots of potential.

Clark falling through the roof was good, but I wanted to see how he dropped down. All of a sudden he is down and scampering about, but I wanted to see how me managed to get down. From the looks of things it was a long drop and there was nothing around for him to jump or drop to. Maybe I missed something. Thank goodness I can watch Smallville twice a week. Hooray for Access and Monday nights. Nothing like getting a Smallville fix 2 nights a week.

Lana tussling with one of the twins was great. The nail gun. HA! That’s just so gross. I was thinking the crazy twin would turn the gun around on her, but no, she nails him to the wall. As gross as that was, it was also fabulous.

However, I don’t remember why she stopped there. The twin hit her she goes down, but looks up at him. She was doing so good. She coulda kicked the other twin in the groin with her kick-boxing and punched him in the nose as he doubled over. I again must have missed something. I find it amusing because in this scene she’s looking up at the twin after he smokes her then in the next scene when Jonathan comes in she’s lying on the ground… HUH?

The other thing that made me wonder if I missed something is when the leader of the crazies tells Clark he has 2 minutes to get to the house before he starts to whack mama Kent, the scene flips to Clark and Chloe not being able to get in to the vault. Clark tells Chloe he has another idea and leaves. Then all of a sudden he’s at the farm? I think it would take longer than 2 minutes to get to the farm and psycho boy should have killed ma Kent by then, or threatened or something.

I like this Sheriff. She’s a great character. The writers have done a good job with her.

My only problem I had with Clark smashing the crap out of the electrical box was:

#1. Why didn’t he just flip main switch in the box. Doesn’t that shut all the electricity off. I guess that wouldn’t give us the Clark flexing his muscle and smashing the piss out of the electrical box.

#2. Wouldn’t he get electrocuted if he smashed an electrical box? Just wondering. I’m not an electrician so I don’t know the ins and outs of wiring etc. It just would seem logical that if you smashed an electrical box you’d get some sort of shock. Maybe I’m wrong.

Now my next problem was the fight sequence. I love action movies and watch a lot of them. So this is my problem with all action movies in general. When the psycho Tommy Lee goes to hit Clark, Clark blocks the punch. Good BUT then there’s a pause. The pause always seems too long because in that time someone could get another hit in with their other arm. An upper cut maybe? Then the baddie just stands there like, “Yuk, yuk…DUH, OK.. now you hit me. I’ll just stand here and wait while you hit me, cuz that’s what’s suppose to happen and I ain’t gonna put up a fight cuz I’m too dumb or lazy and my adrenaline is not working…Duh, Yuk, yuk”

*sigh*

Then FINALLY the punch. And that too seems to slow. Like it’s in slow motion. I dunno, but the last time I check real fights in real life don’t happen like that. I know it’s just a show, but I would like the fight scenes to improve. It can be better. No standing there waiting for the punch. Let’s pick it up. Bam. Bam.

What is nice to see is that Kristin is not standing on blocks when she stands next Tom anymore. Tom hovering at 6′3 and is a mere Kristin at 5′4. I’m just glad the powers that be are comfortable with making them stand normally.

Something that seemed odd was Chloe pulling Clark aside and talking to him privately just steps away from Lana. To me that’s a little rude. Everything that she said could have been said in front of Lana except for the super power comment. Aren’t Chloe and Lana friends? Isn’t she glad that Lana is OK too? I dunno, it just felt wrong/weird.

I LOVED THIS NEXT SCENE!
The Clark/Lex fight was great! WOW. I was happy! Oh so happy! I was cheering. It was a great scene. Excellent! Well done. Oh happy day! Did I say I loved this scene and the dialogue? YES, I LOVED THIS SCENE. It was shot wonderfully, directed great and the actors did an excellent job.

*sigh* Yet another small problem. Clark knows he’s bleeding, why doesn’t he wipe off the blood from his mouth during the drive from Lex’s mansion to the Talon to see Lana? I don’t get it. Is he looking for sympathy? I’m sure he’d get it anyway. Leaving the blood on for Lana to dab off was just cheesy. I didn’t like it.

Then on to the make out scene and all that jazz. That was well done. Although I always wonder why Lana takes off Clark’s shirt so quickly, yet Clark never takes off Lana’s shirt or goes up her shirt? Must be written into her contract. Other than that small tidbit the scene played out quite nicely I thought. I like that they didn’t draw out the kissing and do any fancy moves like with the Clark and Alicia or Joe and Louise scenes. It was simple, sweet and nice.

What made this show so good was the fact that this wasn’t just a typical freak of the week show. It was all a set up by Lex. That’s what made it so great! I loved the revelation of the video feed from Chloe to Clark and I loved the shot of Lex watching the video. It just played so smoothly together. The fact that it was set up by Lex just made me happy. It made the freak of the week not so annoying and it made sense. Fabulous. I love the curve that was thrown in at the end. It just made the show so good.

So there it is. Those are my thoughts on the show. I love my Smallville and my hopes are renewed that this season will be better than the last. So far they are 2 for 2 in favor of ‘Great episode’.

5 out of 5.

*sigh* The previews for next weeks, ‘Hidden’, look good…. but then the pictures they release I’m not so sure about. This episode ends with them popping their cherries in the Talon at Lana’s place. The spoiler pictures released show them waking up in Clark’s bedroom and getting in trouble with the parentals. Unless Clark and Lana are boinking like bunnies and are getting their freak on everywhere they go, it doesn’t make sense… only time will tell. This better not be an oops on the writers part again. I’ll be so pissed. I’m crossing my fingers for a good episode this Thursday.

So Monday Sept 26, 2005 I had the miscarriage. Tuesday, Sept 27, I got out of the hospital and had the ultra sound. I learned I didn’t have to go in for a D&C. Thank goodness. I was tired and did not want to spend anymore time spreading my legs letting strangers look at my undercarriage. Especially since I wasn’t getting paid.

… just kidding… well about the paid part anyway.

Today was Wednesday, Sept 28 and I had a root canal. My dentist, who drives a Ferrari, is always happy to see me cuz it means big money. I should ask to drive that lil red car around since I’m sure I’ve partially paid for the thing with all my dental work I’ve had done.

So this is root canal #4 or 5… I dunno, I don’t keep track. He has frozen me up to my eyeballs and is taking care of my toothache. Now something I don’t get about him or his hygienist is this: They clamp my mouth open, then put green plastic crap across my mouth and THEN they play 20 questions with me. Seriously, this is a sick and twisted game on their part. I’m sure they think it’s funny, but I’m on to them.

“So Joanne, how are you doing?”

Gah, gah, ga

“Great! Oh, I like your shoes, where did you get them?”

Gak, gah, ga, ga, gah, gak, ga, ga, gak

“Really? Oh wow, that’s nice. So how many kids do you have.”

Gor

“Wow. You must be busy! So what are their names?”

Goh, Gaga, Gangon, Gaaa.

“Hmm… what nice names.”

GOOD FREAKN’ GRIEF! What a fake lil byatch. Drives me crazy. Seriously. Now the dentist. I love the guy. He’s a good dentist, but he plays the same game! Like I don’t know what kind of twisted pleasure this gives them!! I wish the roles were reversed cuz it would sure be fun!

“So Doc, do you think I can take a spin in that Ferrari of yours?”

“Ga, gak, gah, ga, geh”

“Fabulous. So where are the keys?”

“Ga, gah, ga, gak!”

“Ok, I’ll just help myself. Here, I’ll just check your pockets.”

“Gah, gak, ga, ga, Gah!”

“Hmm… not here, I’ll just check your coat pockets in your office. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of your baby just like she was mine own. I’m a good driver! Trust me…Now you just lean back and enjoy the million needles in your mouth. Tah.”

“Gah, gak, Gak, Gah, Gah, Ga!”

“Nurse he seems to be a smidge stressed. Why don’t you just do sedation dentistry on him? This will all seem like a dream to you later. Don’t worry about your car. I’ll take good care of her.”

Muhahahahahahah.

So I get my root canal, he doesn’t finish it because of blah, blah, blah. Whatever, I just know I have to go back on Oct. 14 to get it all finished. Personally, I think I was just such a great player of the game they wanted me back to play the” Gak, gah” game with them again.

So I’m heading home, speeding cuz I’m late to pick up Brandon from the sitters. I’m late because I got side tracked at Costco. Damn Costco. They always take so much of Ryan’s hard earned money.

All of a sudden I see Smokey the Bear pop out from behind the stop sign and flag me down. %@!&*$@! GREAT! Instead of getting angry I channel my exhaustion and exasperation into tears.

“Drivers and registration please.”

I get all teary eyed. My mouth is still frozen and I’m talking like I’ve just had a stroke on the right side of my face.

“I’m sorry officer. I wasn’t thinking. I’ve had a really bad couple of days. I just had a miscarriage. (I spread my legs) See, here is where the blood is on my seat. Call the ambulance and they’ll tell you they had to take me to the hospital. And today I just had a root canal and that costed me like $500. I’m just not thinking properly. How fast was I going anyway? 90km. Oh. What’s the the speed limit? 50km? Oh man. I thought it was 60 or something. Well, can you make it out to registered owner or give me a lower ticket or something. I’m just still not with it I guess I’ve had a really shitty week so far and it’s only Wednesday.”

I hand over my licence, registration and look sad. He walks away, checks out my stuff then comes back 5 min. later.

“I hope you realize that I just saved you $300 and 6 demerit points.” Then he goes on to lecture me about not driving so fast on the road. “I’m giving you a warning. Slow down.”

I’m just happy I didn’t get the ticket. With a million thank you’s and yes sirs’ I’m off. You know, sometimes things happen for a reason and I’m glad it got me out of this ticket. I would’ve fought it anyway, but still it’s nice to know that there are cops that will let a girl off for having a bad day. I’m grinning like a cat that just ate a canary.

This post is filled with TMI. Proceed with caution. You were warned.

I’m sitting in the parent council meeting at my daughter’s school. I have a bitch list, I’m happily arguing with the principal and other mothers. No one argues this well with me. They usually give in. This set is putting up a fight. They are so anal retentive it’s just unbelievable. They refuse to do a casino fundraiser which would give them $40,000 in one night… but noooo. That’s unethical. Let’s sell magazines and only make $4000. Stupid. I’m going to switch schools. It’s just retarded.

So I’m into item 5 of my bitch list of what this school needs to change (More field trips, less TV in the classroom, full day kindergarten, healthier lunch food, different fundraisers and child care for these meetings so more people can go.) I’m sure everyone is exasperated as I have raised my hand yet again to complain about somethings else I see that is wrong with this school.

I am cramping, I feel queasy and I feel really wet. I look down and see a pool of blood has seeped into the chair I am sitting on. I grabbed my purse and notepad, jump up, push my chair in and make a bee-line toward the door.

I’m dizzy and light headed as I bump into the door on my way out. Blood is gushing down my leg. As I walk down the hall I can feel it going down all over. HOLY CRAP! What the hell is wrong with me? I start running down the hall. I’m sure the janitor thought someone was killing a teacher since I was leaving a trail of blood behind me.

The cool night air greets me as I rush out the school doors, race down the sidewalk and get into the van. Before I settle down I put the car mat on the seat. Blood is still oozing down my leg.

I drive home, stumble upstairs and hop in the tub. I feel like someone has turned on the facet because this blood just won’t stop. I yell for Ryan and when he comes into the bathroom he takes a step back.

“I don’t know what’s the matter. Call Health Link, this isn’t right. Something is wrong.” I manage to spit out. I was just shocked. I had never seen this much blood come so quickly before in my life. Crazy. I got a male health nurse. *UGH* I was describing what’s going on to the operator, which was so embarrassing, cuz it was a guy. I would have rather talked to a female about this.

“Don’t worry I’ve worked 25 years in the Emergency Department, I’ve seen everything,” he tries to reassure me.

As I talk to him I keep saying, “you know what I mean? Well, I guess you don’t since you’re not a woman.”

“I worked 10 years in the maternity ward, I understand,” he says soothingly. I almost snapped.

No! NO! You DON’T understand because unless you’ve had blood gushing out of you like Niagara Falls you DON’T understand. You DON’T know what it feels like. YOU are not a WOMAN. YOU are a MAN. Don’t patronize me. He insists on calling the ambulance. I’m a smidge annoyed because that’s going to be like a $400 bill. We have insurance, but still that’s just insane. He convinces us to let him call the ambulance. Besides having a waterfall between my legs I really feel fine and Ryan is capable of driving me over to Emergency.

Ryan calls his sister over and I call Rachel over until his sister arrives so she can watch the kids.

When the paramedics arrive it’s a man and a woman. *GROAN* Once again I’m embarrassed. I was also getting a little nervous, because they seemed quite concerned and I was just trying to get all my stuff together so we could leave. When I get nervous I get chatty. My mouth goes into over drive and I can’t stop.

I’m getting all giddy and excited now. Whoo hoo! My first ambulance ride. How fun and it’s with a really cute paramedic. It’s my lucky day. I start yakking and making jokes about whatever crosses my brain. The paramedic is cracking up laughing. His laughing just feeds the ego and I keep going. I get an IV and chatter to him non-stop for the entire 15 minute ride.

Once in the hospital I keep the comedic dialogue going. The doctors and nurses are looking at me like I’m on something… No, just nervous that’s all… but if you got something good, I wouldn’t mind sampling a drug or two? … but then again, I’ll probably lose brain cells, and I can’t afford to lose anymore since I’m not the smartest tool in the shed as it is, so thanks but no thanks. You can just save it for yourself at the next office party, whoo hoo! Demerol!

I’m in shock and I’m nervous. I still don’t know what the hell is going on. They draw some blood and do some tests. I regale my tale of when I once had an anesthesiologist from hell who didn’t know what the freak she was doing while giving me an epidural and to make things worse…. She looked like Kathy Bates from Misery

…. Scary! I have the nurses and doctors laughing now too. My adrenaline has kicked in and I’m hyper now. Somebody better tell me something or I’m just going to explode from the energy surging through my body.

Ryan is quietly standing off to the side, observing and he looks worried. So I start to tell him what to do in case this is bad and I die. Give my scrapbooking stuff to Christina and Jayna. Maybe they can finish my scrapbooking for me as a goodbye gift or something, what kind of wife he should marry if I kick the bucket, to be late to my funeral cuz I’m always late, to plant a tree and donate a bench to a park, etc. I’m laughing as I’m telling him these things, trying to make light of the situation. I’m still bleeding, but not as hard as before. Still gobs of goop is coming out.

At first I was not to sure about the doctor I got. He sounded like Daffy Duck. He has a lisp. Every time he would say the letter “s” it would come out as “th.”

“It Thhouldn’t be long before we get your tetht rethulthtth” Translation: It shouldn’t be long before we get your test results.

Every time he would leave Ryan would say, “Th,th, that’s all folks!” LOL… we had a great time making fun of him. As it turns out he really was a good doc. Very thorough, calm, friendly and he did know what he was doing.

So low and behold he comes back and tells me what my problem is….

I was pregnant and I’m having a miscarriage.

WHAT?!? HOLY CHOCOLATE STARFISH BATMAN! SERIOUSLY? WOW! SHOCKER! I HAD NO IDEA… I should have clued in though, I’ve been really tired over the past month and the pregnancy byatch had come out.

*Damn* I’m just so freakn’ fertile. I was shocked. Not sad or upset, just shocked.

The nurse asks me if I want anything.

“Do you have a bat? I’d like a bat please.” I reply.

“Why?” the nurse is understandably confused.

“Well, it’s quite obvious that Ryan’s lil spermies are quite the excellent swimmers. They are a little too good in fact so I’d just like to make them a little disorientated. Just want to knock them around a little, ya know. So they don’t swim so well the next time.”

The nurse opens her eyes wide with shock. Heh. Great facial reaction. “I don’t think so.” I burst out laughing. Ryan just shakes his head. He knows I love a good reaction and will go to any length to get one. I’m having lots of fun now.

Dr. Daffy comes in again, “Have you been uthing any type of birth control?”

“Well, just the “Pull out and Pray” method,” I reply, “but we’d forget to pull out and forget to pray, so I guess that didn’t work so well.” I’m just killing myself laughing.

“How are you feeling?” asks a nurse.

“Great! Ya know, I already have 4 kids and they are a handful. I’ve got lots! I don’t need anymore! I had no idea I was pregnant. Not a clue. So it’s not like I knew. Not knowing you are prego makes it a lot easier to handle. Besides, I bet God was up in Heaven going over His daily reports, checking out what’s going on in the world. He sees that I’m pregnant and he’s prolly like, “Oh no! Not again! This woman can’t even handle the 4 she has! What the hell is she doing. Oh this is not good. I need to take that poor child out of there and send it elsewhere, cuz that Joanne is just a basketcase. She’s nuts. Yo Peter, give her a miscarriage.” I ramble off at her.

She laughs and shakes her head. *sigh* Well, that was me the entire night. The doctor makes me stay in the hospital, just for observation because I was feeling really lightheaded and dizzy. I really hate staying in the hospital.

I’m a very light sleeper and every little noise wakes me up. Ryan finally leaves at midnight and I try to sleep, but the beeping, buzzing and sounds of women giving birth keep me awake…

Finally I drift off to sleep around 2:30am, but it’s not a deep sleep, it’s a light sleep and I’m exhausted when they wake me up at 5:00 am to take more blood.

“What? I didn’t lose enough so they want to take more?” I quip to the nurse.

I’m slowly easing back to dream land when 5:30 am rolls around and the nurse comes back. She needs more blood. “Are you feeding vampires back there? Just so you know I’m not interested in donating to Vampires Cafe” I tell her.

It’s hard for me to go back to sleep once I am woken up, but I’m so tired. Just as I feel myself plunging into dreamland it’s 6:00am and a different nurse shows up to take my blood pressure.

6:30 am Dr. Daffy comes in to check on me and see how I’m doing. “Did you thleep at all?”

“Am I on suicide watch here or something? I’m trying to sleep but I keep getting woken up every 1/2 hour! Knock it off cuz I’m tired!” I try to laugh but I’m so freakn’ sleepy.

“I jutht wanted you to know that I’ve told the new doctor that hath come on about you, thth, thth, thth, thth.”

Oh for Pete’s sake, I don’t care. Just go away and let me sleep. Finally Daffy Duck leaves, but sure enough 7:00am another nurse comes in to check on me. I’m polite, but so annoyed.

7:30am. I call Ryan to make sure he’s up, has the kids fed and is ready to take them to school. “Everything is fine,” he says. Later I find out that everything wasn’t fine, he just didn’t want me to worry. He ended up taking the kids to McDonalds for breakfast because he couldn’t handle the morning rush. The kids arrived late for school, but hey, at least they arrived. That just makes me laugh. I hope he now appreciates what I have to go through in the morning.

7:45am. Tucked all snugly back in bed, chuckling over Ryan’s crazy morning I once again try to get some shut eye, but it is not to be had since the new doc just had to show up. This guy I call, Dr. Fraiser.

Dr. Fraiser Krane decides to pay me a visit. He looked exactly like Fraiser except a younger version with brown hair. He was bald at the top with a huge mess of hair around the sides and back. It was like he was making up for his baldness by growing his hair longer and bushier around the sides so he could prove to people that yes indeed he could grow hair. It may be a mess, but he could grow hair. I wonder if that made him feel better about his baldness.

I started joking around with him as well, but he didn’t seem to like my brand of humor. I must admit my timing was off since I was so tired. I have to go over the entire story with him again, he asks the same questions.. yes, yes, I’m fine. Finally he leaves and I try to get some sleep.

Nope, forget that idea cuz now it’s 8:30am and it’s breakfast time. In comes the cheery breakfast lady. “Good morning. Did you have a good sleep?”

“Actually no, cuz everyone here seems to think I’m gonna commit suicide cuz I keep getting woken up every 1/2 hour, ” I snap.

“That’s too bad. Here’s your breakfast. Enjoy.” She happily sings as she places a tray before me.

*sigh* Well, I am hungry. What do I have to eat, I’m hoping toast. No. Just coffee, an orange juice and yellow jello. YUCK. I hate coffee and don’t drink the crap. I liked the orange juice, but I hate jello. I was starving so I ate it. This sucked and I wanted to get the hell out of here.

I call Ryan and tell him to bust me out of this insane asylum. I buzz the nurse and the doctor, turn on the energy and convince them to send me home cuz I’m feeling fine. The blood situation is under control and I just want to get the hell out. I hate the hospital. I want to go home and take a nice hot shower.

Finally I am able to leave. I go get an ultra sound later in the day. I find out that there is a little left and to expect that to come out, but I don’t need a D & C. Thank goodness.

My final thoughts on having a miscarriage.

1. Wow. That’s a lot of blood.
2. Miscarriages are an inconvenience, but I don’t feel bad about having one. Mentally, I’m fine. If it was meant to be, it was meant to be. I’m not upset at all. I’m actually relieved and I’ll tell you why. I HAVE 4 KIDS. If I was 30 and trying for the first baby and then had a miscarriage I’d be devastated. But it’s not. It would have been #5. Hokey Pokey Batman. That’s a lot of kids. I’m not ready for #5. I’m not sure I want 5. So really this is a blessing.

Everyone seems so concerned and quite frankly I’m tired of all the, “Are you OK? How are you doing?” Cuz after the 10th time, it gets old. Actually after I told the story twice I was done. Everyone else after that got, “Ahhh, I’m FINE! Just fine!” cuz really I am.

3. Hot Damn, the blood that came out could fill a bath tub 1/2 way to the top. YIKES! I’m still shocked over the amount of blood.

Wow! So Ryan calls me up as he is coming home from work.

“I’ve got a surprise for you and Laura,” he says.

After guessing a whole bunch of wild and crazy things, like tickets for a cruise, a plane ride around the world, he won a million dollars and never has to work again, etc. I finally move on to things that he doesn’t like. Pets. A dog? No. A cat? Yes.

WHAT?!? REALLY?!? Are you kidding or are you serious? After stringing me along for a bit longer he finally admits that he got a free little Siamese kitten from a guy at work.

“Free Siamese? What’s wrong with it?” I ask.

“Oh it’s not full Siamese. It’s 1/2 Siamese, 1/2 Bastard,” he replies.

Ok… good. Just checking. The kids are in bed by the time he comes home at 10pm. He put the kitten in his gym bag because it kept walking back and forth on the dash board of the truck.

I hear this horrible meowing (if you want to call it that) coming from the gym bag, as I come down the stairs.

“What the hell is that? A pig, a bird, a duck?”

“I guess that’s how Siamese cats sound,” he says shrugging.

I open the bag and out pops the cutest little kitten I’ve ever laid eyes on… Ooohhhhh soooo cute. I love cats. I really love kittens. It has a black nose, ears and tail. A splash of white graces the tip of her tail. Her body is a light grey with a few splotches of brown smeared here and there. She has these pretty pale blue eyes. Oh my goodie, goodie gum drops, this kitten is adorable. She is so beautiful. Wow. I was impressed that he had chosen such a cute lil’ thing.

He had rescued it from being drowned. The owner was just going to kill her since he had 20 cats on his farm. This kitten was the runt of the litter. Whatever possessed Ryan to get this kitten is just beyond me. He says it’s to catch the mouse in the house, but I don’t know…. Something is up. I’m not sure what, but I’m shocked. Ryan doesn’t like cats so I am astounded that he would get one for the family.

I keep asking him why he would get a kitten, when he hates cats. He just shrugs and says with a smile, “Well, you always wanted another cat…”

Awwww, how sweet. This is huge for Ryan, cuz he’s always yapping on about how terrible cats are and blah, blah, blah. Wow. He really loves me and the kids. The kids. Oh my gosh. They are going to freak!

When I called up friends to tell them of the news, to put it lightly they are shocked and horrified. Heh, heh. My friends have only heard of the crazy tales I would tell of what I would do to my cat, “Kitty” when I was on the farm. That coupled with the fact that I have crazy high energy kids. Yeah, this kitten will be pulling out the claws.

I’ll let the kids name her since the only name that crosses my mind is still, “Kitty.” *sigh* 25 years later, and I’m still not creative when it comes to names.

We are getting along quite well. She follows me around everywhere and right now she is curled up in my lap fast asleep. I’m just thrilled… now if only my eyes would stop itching…

BEWARE OF SPOILERS!

I’m not a football fan because I find it very boring and sllllooooooowwww. I really like Adam Sandler and Chris Rock so I picked up the movie. I was surprised. I really, really liked this one. It’s a mindless, predictable movie, but it will make you laugh. Chris rock is on the ball and he really was my favorite part. The man is hilarious!

Adam Sandler, an ex-football player, gets thrown into jail after he gets arrested for a DUI and crashing his girlfriends car into a few police cars during a high speed chase. He forms a football team in jail to play against the prison guards. Hilarity ensues as he tries to find football players and get them ready for the big game.

I was rolling my eyes at some of the jokes, but for the most part, this movie is a great ride. Adam Sandler and Chris Rock do a great job. The other actors and characters are quite funny! The guy constantly pulling our McDonald’s cheeseburgers from underneath his clothing, the prison guard that gets weepy because of a steroid to estrogen pill switch and the transvestite cheerleaders are good for a few chuckles. There’s so many quirky, weird, odd, funny characters that make up the team it’s worth the rental to watch all the craziness.

Thankfully the football was just the highlights of the game. Now if football was like this on TV, I’d watch. It was fast, showed all the highlights, the tackles, passes and touchdowns. Fantastic. That’s my kind of football.

Good for a laugh, if you’re in the mood to laugh at stupid jokes. I was a smooch annoyed when Chris Rock died cuz the movie didn’t seem that funny after that. He really shines in this show.

3.5 out of 5

Worth the price of a movie rental at good ole’ Blockbuster! Hooray for Blockbuster and no late fees! I’m so happy they opened up here this summer. My lil’ town is developing quite nicely.

Ick! Ick! Ick!

So I go in for Mya’s 1 year check up with our family doctor. He comes into the room and looks at me. He checks me out from top to bottom. I am instantly babbling, saying hello, how are you, etc. And he interrupts me and says,

“Wow! May I just say you look absolutely gorgeous today!”

I was shocked. My mind was reeling as he was staring at me and I instantly became uncomfortable. I must have said something stupid like, “Yeah, whatever” or “You’re too funny” or ” Yeah right.” I really don’t remember, because I’m just shocked beyond belief. Then he shocks me again by the next thing he says,

“Well, it’s really my pleasure to look at you! I like what I see!”

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I just want to run out of there and take a shower.. ick!

I just laughed and said, “You’re hilarious.” Slight pause. “So, how’s your wife? She’s amazing!” Then I start babbling to him about his wife and telling him all the ways I think she’s so incredible.

This guy is in his late 40’s or 50’s, Santa-like figure. I know him from church and he comes up to me in the halls and tells me I look great. However, this is the first time he used gorgeous. I don’t take compliments well, especially when they catch me off guard like that.

Now maybe it was “WHO” it came from that bothered me so much. If Tom Welling came up to me and said that, I’d be hopping up and down thinking, “Hot damn! That’s so awesome!”. However, when it’s someone that’s suppose to be professional I think “ick.” I just wanted to go home and take a shower to get all the ick off.

Then again, I think this Doc just says what’s on his mind. The doc was doing a breast exam on a very beautiful woman. Upon completion of her breast exam, the female patient leaves. His understudy hears him muttering to himself as he scribbles notes in his file, “Now there’s a pair of ta-ta’s I’ll never forget!”

His apprentice or understudy, whatever you may want to call it says, “What?!? How can you say that? You’re a Doctor!”

“Yes, but I’m also a man!” was his reply.

Ever since I heard that story, I always smirk when I see him because I always think, “Now there’s a pair of ta-ta’s I’ll never forget.”

Man, I’m just glad he’s my kids doctor and not mine.

Mental note: Change Doctors.

Oh happy day! My show has finally started!

Season 5 aired on Thursday 6pm on the WB and I was absolutely ecstatic! I was in front of the TV and didn’t budge the entire time. I LOVED the premiere. It was amazing. I was spell bound. Smallville is my crack cocaine.

I really liked the new redesigned opening credits.

I thought the writers finally did a great job! They tied up all the loose ends from Season 4 (I didn’t like the finale) and they moved forward with a wonderful momentum.

My favorite shot, besides everything blowing up and Brainiac morphing out of the oil, was the special effect of Chloe’s eye when she saw the fortress.

Seeing the fortress come up out of the snow was amazing. Ooohhh… pretty. I want a fortress! It just made me tingle with excitement. I’m looking forward to seeing this develop on Smallville.

I loved the Chloe and Clark interaction. They really have a great story line going between these two. I’m glad the secret is out and they can now move forward.

I must say, I just love Tom Welling. The cast looked great! They all did, but when Tom smiles, his eyes… wow. I’m speechless!

The show just moved quickly, smoothly and segued nicely from one character to the next. Lois always makes me laugh. I loved the Kents and Lex! OOOOOHHH.. I am so excited to see evil Lex! Michael Rosenbaum does an excellent job portraying this character. He does drama very well! Comedy… not so well (See Sorority Boys), drama: superb! I am looking forward to this storyline as well.

I really liked the lighting they used in this episode. Smallville always has great lighting.

Clark and Lana. Hmm… well, I was seriously sick of them pinning away at each other. In past seasons I felt like throwing a rotten tomato at the TV because they just kept dancing around each other. Speak your mind! Holy! That just drove me crazy! I’m a person who tells it straight, enter brain, exit mouth. I could use a filter, sometimes I have one, but usually don’t use one. I’m very open and honest, so it killed me to see them not being open with each other. I couldn’t stand how the writers just dragged out the on again off again relationship between the two of them. I hated how they got together so quickly in Season 4. One minute they didn’t like each other, next they were dancing at the prom. The prom episode was sooooo bad. I hope that writer got fired! Or spanked with a soggy rotting fish.

Anyway, I finally liked the Clark - Lana interaction. They were finally honest and open with each other. It’s about time! I loved the part where Clark steps back after he asks Lana if she really meant what she said in the barn. So sweet. It made him look so vulnerable. He just did not want to get hurt by what Lana may say. Almost preparing himself for a let down. Tom plays this beautifully.

How could you not look into those eyes and not want to throw yourself at him? It’s just impossible! Lana would be the stupidest person alive to say no to him.

I just love this look. Full of concern. Awww…. just makes me want to give him a hug.

I’m just in love with this show. I really liked the ending. Whoo hoo, bring on more trouble!

I like morphing images. The oil pooling and running together just made it look creepy.

Hehe… James Marsters (Brainiac) giving his best Dr. Evil look from Austin Powers. I’m really looking forward to this plot.

I’m just in a happy bliss thinking of my Smallville. After the hellish week I’ve had, I’m so happy Smallville is around to immerse myself into the story!

Overall 5 out of 5. FINALLY a great episode.