The journey between here and there

OCTOBER 29, 2005:

We are on the road heading to Edmonton to go to our niece’s 1st birthday party. The ride down was the most enjoyable part of the day. We rearranged seating so the boys were separated and it made everything go so smoothly. Josh sat up in the front and I sat in the back. Since Josh is the main instigator when it comes to causing trouble and pulling pranks on his siblings we figured that if he stayed in the front it would stem the tide of jokes. It worked! Josh bothered Mya for a little, but that girl is full of piss and vinegar and she held her own. She shrieked loudly if he tried to come close to her. I think she’ll be just fine going up against the boys…

Then we had a fabulous Mastercard moment.

Gas to drive from Okotoks to Edmonton: $90.00
Snacks and beverages to keep everyone fed on the drive up: $40.00
Kids sing-a-long CD to keep the kids occupied: $9.99
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Watching your 1 year old flinging fresh poop from her diaper toward her father while he is driving……. Priceless.
Some things money can’t buy.

One of the reasons Josh stopped bugging Mya is because she had pooped her diaper and stunk really bad. I had asked Ryan to pull over so we could changer her diaper but he refused. He wanted to get there on time. Mya was getting madder and madder that no one was changing her diaper. Ryan kept refusing to stop. So Mya, my ingenious Mya, dug down deep in her diaper took some poo and began to fling it at Ryan.

All of a sudden he starts swearing and swerving all over the road. He veers over to the closest roadside bathroom/rest stop and pulls Mya out of her seat. He holds her at arms length away from him with a diaper and wipes in hand heading to the bathroom to change her diaper… HA-HA-HA-HA. I had tears running down my face, I was laughing so hard…. Serves him right… heheh… I’m so evil.

Everyone was giving him strange looks as he hauls the baby in high over his head, arm extended with a pissed off look on his face. OMG… it was priceless. I was grinning madly and didn’t say a word when he brought her back. Hehehe… he was so mad. After the poop flinging incident everyone fell asleep until we got about 1/2 hour from Edmonton. I woke everyone up and proceeded to put Halloween make-up on Laura.

A few days before we had to head up to Edmonton to visit the brother-in-law, his wife calls and tells us the 1st birthday party for their daughter is going to be a Halloween party. We were all to dress up in costumes. Wow! How fun…. right???

Wrong!

*sigh* I should have known.

Laura is dressed as a fairy. Her face is full of glitter, sparkles, fake eye lashes and make-up. She has a purple fancy dress on that poufs out and wings to go on her back. I decided to go as a bitch…. Yes, you read right… I went as a BITCH… of the DOG variety. I transformed my face to look like a Dalmatian dog with splotches everywhere and 2 pony tails for the ears. I had a faux fur sweater and black pants. The boys were going to go as super hero’s. Josh as Batman, Brandon as Superman. Ryan refused to take part in any dressing up, claiming he was going as a grumpy dad.

We arrive and everyone stares at us. No one else dressed up! Not even their KID!

“What’s going on?” I asked a little bewildered and quite annoyed. “I thought this was suppose to be a Halloween party?”

“Yeah, it was, but I was too lazy and too tired to put on a costume so we decided to scrap the idea…. but hey you look great!,” smiles the sister-in-law.

“Nice. You could’ve called. Hey, guess what I am?…. A Bitch!”

Obviously she’s one too, she just forgot to put her make-up on.

So all their friends show up and surprise, surprise NO ONE has a costume… everyone has “forgotten” theirs… Whatever. Bend over people and I’ll bite you in the ass.

I seriously hate his family. They suck.