The journey between here and there

"Mya, how did you get that hole in your pants?"

"Well, I went to the zoo and a lion came up to me and scratched me." Then she hangs her head, starts to sniffle and feels sorry for herself.

I just burst out laughing… way to milk it.  

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 Mya: Daddy? When is it going to be my lucky day?

Ryan: Today is your lucky day! Today is MY lucky day!

Mya: really?  How come today is your lucky day?

Ryan: because I love you and get to spend time with you and play with you!

Mya: Well! Today is my lucky day too because I love you and I get to spend time with you too! And I love Joshy! And I love Laura and Brandon and Lukey and Mommy too! I’m so glad today is my lucky day!

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Jon: So when are you leaving for Vegas?

Ryan: Ummm…. I don’t know….some time this week, but don’t tell Joanne that I don’t know or she’ll get mad at me.

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Luke climbed up on the counters again, this time he got into the glass. He smashed a couple of wine glasses together and broke them. He was toasting himself probably for getting into the fragile glass cupboard.

 Mya and Luke woke up in the morning and they were covered in pink Crayola felt. Their faces, arms, legs and belly were painted in swirls of pink.

A couple of weeks later they got into my lipstick. This time, not only were their bodies covered in lipstick but Mya’s wall and her doll’s lips.  

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I opened the door to the basement to so Luke could play outside. I then continued to work. I didn’t hear him so I ran outside and to my horror the back gate was open. Brandon must have left it open on his way to the park. I ran up the steps to the front of the house. There was Luke walking around in my slippers and pushing the blue wagon in the middle of the road. I grabbed him and pulled the wagon back into the garage. I had to go out to pick up some milk so I put him in his car seat in the van then climbed in and backed the van out. I saw Josh come home and he wanted to come so he jumped in the van. Then Mya came running up. I see Brandon burning down the middle of the street with his tricycle. Following slowly behind him was a cop. *sigh* Great. Brandon parks his tricycle and hops into the van.  The cop then sits there and watches me for the next couple of minutes while the kids put their seat belts on. 

"Were you guys racing down the hill in the middle of the street again?" I asked the boys.

"Not me! I drove on the sidewalk. Just Brandon was driving down the middle of the street," replies Josh.

Just as everyone is in. Laura and her friend drive up on their bikes. I shoo them into the garage and close it behind them. I back up to leave. Thankfully the cop doesn’t pull me over or come over to talk to me. I don’t know if they guy was just driving around or if our neighbors called them.

*sigh* I need to move to a farm where there are no neighbors and the kids can just run. 

I’m excited, thrilled and freaked out all at once. I’m so pumped to go play there! I’ve got lots of things planned. People to see. Places to go. Things to do and look at. How I’m going to be able to  I’ve got soooo much to do before I leave it’s just crazy! I’m in panic mode trying to rush around and get everything organized and ready…. if I can only get my heads out of the clouds so I can concentrate long enough to get things done, I’d be thrilled.

It’s crazy. At the theatre there are signs when you come through the doors, large ones… that block the person’s way INTO the theatre that say, "Monday - Thursday purchase your tickets at concession". There’s not just one, there are 3 large free standing signs 16x20 at all the doorways, yet people just don’t read them.

 People will stand there at the box office and stare. If we haven’t noticed them and waved them over, they will call out, "excuse me, where do we buy the tickets?"

 I’m always polite and friendly saying something along the lines of, "Come on over! You can get your tickets right at concession." I usually say this with a huge smile on my face, but really I’m thinking… ‘You’re an idiot! Don’t you read? You almost bumped into the sign on your way in.’

 Is it just me? I am always scanning and reading everything as I’m driving or walking. I guess other people just are not that observant…. or maybe they just don’t care…. most likely the latter.

 Love it!

“Your goal minus your doubts equals your reality.”

Hmm… I like that quote. So dream big, doubt not, fear not and the impossible can be possible.

I LOVE this cake. It takes a lot of work, but it soooo worth it. Everyone LOVES this cake. It is like biting a piece of a cloud. Pure heaven. Follow directions EXACTLY and it will turn out perfectly. It presents beautifully and tastes delicious.

Ingredients:

—Bottom Layer—

1 box Chocolate cake mix, devil’s food

—Second Layer—

1 teaspoon Unflavored gelatin
1 tablespoon cold water
2 tablespoons boiling water
4 ounces semisweet chocolate chips (I use a high quality chocolate)
4 ounces cream cheese, cubed
3/4 cup heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar

—Third Layer—

3 egg yolks
1/4 cup sugar
3 tablespoons flour, sifted
1 teaspoon Unflavored gelatin
1 3/4 cups heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

—Fourth Layer—

1 1/2 cups heavy cream
2 tablespoons butter
18 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped. (I go buy some Lindt or use some sort of a high qualilty chocolate.)

—Decorating the top—
Melted White chocolate
Strawberries

Directions:

1. Bottom Layer: Bake according to directions on box, using round pans and cool. Once cooled, (cut cake into layers if you choose and use one layer) make a collar using wax paper. Make the collar at least four inches taller than cake.

2. Second Layer: Melt chocolate and cream cheese together. Let cool.
Soften gelatin with cold water for 1 minute, then add boiling water, stir until dissolved and clear. Let this cool while you start whipping the heavy cream and sugar. As cream starts to thicken, add gelatin. Continue to whip until stiff peaks form. Add 1/4 of the cream to the chocolate mixture and mix thoroughly. Then fold this into the remaining cream. Once you have completed spread onto cake and refrigerate.

3. Third Layer: Beat egg yolks until pale. Add sugar, flour and gelatin, then beat until mixed. Bring cream and vanilla extract to a boil. Add a small amount of cream to egg mixture while stirring. Gradually add until all of the cream has been added and then pour entire mixture through a strainer into the pan. Continue to cook until custard begins to thicken. Cool slightly pour on top of chocolate mousse and freeze while getting the icing ready.

4. Fourth Layer: Bring butter and cream to a boil, pour over chocolate and let sit for 5 minutes. Stir until smooth. Let cool (slightly warmer than room temp) until it starts to thicken. Remove cake from freezer and remove the collar. Pour some of the ganache (what you feel comfortable working with) and using a spatula spread it evenly across the top and sides of cake. And refrigerate. Continue to let the remaining ganache cool and firm up, place into a cake decorating bag with star tip and place a border on the cake if you like.

Decorating the top:
I wash and dry strawberries. Slice the strawberries in 1/2 length wise leaving the green tops on. Melt the white chocolate and put in a piping bag. Pipe white chocolate lines across the top of the chocolate ganache. Place the strawberries around the cake and place 3 in the middle.

I took a picture of the cake I decorated.

“Mya stop splashing in the tub.”
“I’m not.”
“Mya I can hear you splashing in the tub. Please stop.”
“I’m not splashing! My FEET are splashing.”
*sigh*

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It was beautiful day and I opened my bedroom window open a crack. About 6 inches to get some fresh air circulating in the house. Then I went downstairs to clean up the paper clutter in the basement. Luke decided to go outside…. so he pushed a chair up to the bedroom window, climbed up on the window sill and was 1/2 in and 1/2 onto the top of the garage when Laura came upstairs and found him. I don’t know why our children are so obsessed with climbing out of our window. It’s like ingrained in their DNA to climb, be mischievous and climb out of our window onto the garage all the time. Luke is only 20 months old!

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“RUN!!!!!!!!!!!”
I hear along with squeals of laughter and the boys racing upstairs.
“MOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!” screams Laura
*sigh* here we go again.
Laura furiously storms out of her room holding a poopy pair of underwear.
“The boys threw this in my bed! This is so disgusting!” she screams almost tearing up.
It was gross.
I walk up the stairs and I hear, “Here she comes! HIDE!!!”
I go upstairs and the boys are hiding under their blankets.
“Shhhh…. be quiet so she won’t find us.” Josh hisses to Brandon.
I quietly stand above them and don’t say anything.
For a few moments all is quiet so they peer out from their blankets and they see me hoovering right in front of their faces.
“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH” They jump and scream, startled that I’m right there, then dive back under their blankets. This always amuses me cuz like I can’t find them.

They love to terrorize Laura. In the summer Josh stuck a frog in her bed, another day it was an earthworm and another time it was a dead fly.
They always get in trouble, but they obviously think the reaction is worth all the trouble they get into.
…. dang, these boys are way too much like me.

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I took Brandon out to buy him and Josh some shoes because some how over the winter their new shoes I bought for the fall managed to disappear. Brandon was so excited for a new pair of white Spiderman lace up shoes that he wore them to bed at night and slept with them on…. at least I know he likes them. He feels like a big boy now.

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“Mom, I can’t go out to do my flyers cuz it’s cold, snowing, windy, hailing and raining a bit,” whines Laura.
I do feel sorry for her because it is exactly as she describes outside.
“Fine, but you better get them done tomorrow after school.”
“Ok! Thanks!” she grins and off she goes.

10 minutes later I go downstairs and look outside. Laura, Joshua and Brandon are all jumping on the trampoline in the backyard while it is cold, snowing, windy, hailing and raining.

I just shake my head. They love jumping on the tramp when it’s raining.
30 min. later they come in laughing, exhausted and cold.

“So Laura, now I want you to go out and do your flyers,” I say.
“BUT MOOOMMM… It’s cold and snowing and windy and hailing and raining!!” she wails.
“Well, it obviously doesn’t bother you because you JUST got in from jumping on the tramp and playing in the snow, wind, rain and hail. Nice try. Go do your flyers!”
Defeated, off she went. She really didn’t have an argument and she knew it. She didn’t even try to argue.
I’m sure next time she’ll think it out better. She’s a quick learner.

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I stumbled upon these crazy set of videos. HILARIOUS. There are lots of them… the ones below are my favorites.

This is my favorite one:

I think I’ll try this one on Ryan:
Pie Hard with a Vengence…

And this one too….

So funny…

Mya, Brandon and Josh were playing with matches again today. They were trying to light the grass in our backyard on fire. Laura caught them at it again. The box of matches smelled like they had lit a few. The first time they played with matches Ryan dealt with it and disciplined them his way by talking to them, showing them pictures of house fires on youtube, having the fire chief come over and trying to get them to understand why it’s not good to play with fire…… this time I disciplined them my way….. My hand hurts, they are in their rooms for the rest of the night and they get to eat tomorrow morning. If this doesn’t work I’m seriously contemplating giving them away to a Mary Poppins family in our ward.

*sigh* I just don’t know what to do. They are driving me crazy.

Mya and Brandon took the 2 dozen eggs in the fridge and cracked them on the slide and on the swing in the backyard.

Luke pushed a chair up to the kitchen counter, climbed up and began to play with the toaster oven on the counter. He was making toast. He now has a 2 degree burn on the top of his right hand.

*sigh* I need a nanny or a few bottles of Vodka.

I walk up the stairs and the smell hits… it’s a smell that curls the nose hairs and instantly sends a searing headache to the back of my brain. Instantly I begin looking for the little vile. I don’t have to look far, on the table is a splatter of blue. The smell is strong and intense. I look around more and sure enough, I find the brush and bottle of nail polish. Now my table has a lovely splatter of blue nail polish. I find the inside of a bowl painted with nail polish as well.

“Guess what mommy!?!” Mya says all proud of herself as she comes up the stairs.
I look and raise my eyebrow.”What?”
“I painted my nails ALL BY MYSELF” She’s grinning from ear to ear proud of her accomplishment.
How can I get mad at that?
“Just please try not to get it on the table.”
“Oh, that wasn’t me. That was Lukey,” she quickly replies.
“Well, don’t let him play with the nail polish. Take it away from him or tell me what he’s doing. ok?”
“ok.” Off she goes skipping down the hall.
I turn and look at the table. It really is a pretty shade of blue.

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The door bell rings and a little blond girl stands at my door.
“Hi! Umm… there is a wagon in the middle of the road and a little boy was playing in the middle of the road.”
“What?!?”
I look outside and see the blue wagon. “Josh go get the wagon and park it in the garage not on the road.”
“There’s a little boy outside too,” the girl reminds me.
I don’t see a boy and I don’t know who she is talking about because I thought all the kids were inside. So I quickly run out the garage door. Traffic has stopped in front of our house waiting for the wagon to be moved. I look around the corner and sure enough, there is little 20 month old Luke happily sitting on a tricycle trying to move it across the pavement on the driveway.
“Lukey! How did you get out here?” He just grins back at me and tries to push his trike away from me. I quickly grab him and put the trike inside.
“Sorry!” I tell all the people in the vehicles. Josh brings the wagon into the garage. I chastise him for not closing the garage door properly and for leaving the garage door open.
*sigh* It’s always something.

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Our neighbors next door are moving. I’m kind of sad because they were good neighbors and put up with our crazy, noisey side. They listed it really low, it sold in a week. Craziness! I’m worried about the kind of neighbors we are getting. I hope it’s a fun family with kids like the neighbors on the other side. I really need easy going people to live beside us to put up with the craziness that always happens.

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Mya comes down the stairs with her hands behind her back. She is trying to keep her front towards me not turning as she walks by me pressing up against the wall.
*sigh*
“Mya, what’s behind your back?”
Her eyes grow as big as saucers and an expression of ‘how does she know?’ spreads across her face.
“Brandon gave it to me.” Is her reply, but she still doesn’t show me.
“What did he give you? Show me.”
She shows me the scissors. They are child scissors, but they are the school kid scissors. They still do damage if used the wrong way. There have been many hair cutting incidents lately.
“What are you doing with the scissors?” I ask.
“Making a craft. I want to cut some paper.”
“As long as it’s paper and not your hair. Your hair just grew back from the last time you cut it.”
“ok!” She grins as I give her paper. “I won’t cut my hair.”

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While we were getting ready for the non-talent show back in March we sent Mya over to play at a friend of mine’s house. As the lady was getting Mya ready to come back for the show Mya pipes up and says, “I’ve been really good! I didn’t even beat anyone up!”
LOL… Ryan’s instructions to her before she left was not to beat anyone up. She was very proud that she didn’t rumble with anyone… and so was I.

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I got another call from school. Brandon got into another fight, this time with 4 other kids. *sigh* I just don’t know what to do. Again it was by playing army men. It got out of control and a fight broke out. The winner? Brandon. The kid knows how to put the beats on someone. Gets lots of practice at home by rumbling with his siblings. I’ve now banned him from playing army men at school.

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The next time Brandon went back to Kindergarten I got another call from school. I’m beginning to realize that anytime I see the school’s number pop up it’s not good news.
So I had dropped Brandon off at school late that morning. School starts at 8:35am and I didn’t get him there until 9am. So I told him to go up to the office to get his late slip then go to class and just tell them that I drove him to school late.
He goes up to the office to get his late slip. They ask him why he is late.
“I drove my bike to school,” he says. Which I laugh at because it’s so absurd. This school is totally across town and it takes me 10 min to drive to it with all the stupid traffic lights in this retarded town.
The teacher asks where he parks it and he said at the front doors. She said that bikes are not to be parked their and they have to move it.
So they go looking for his bike and they can’t find it. *shocker*
So then he tells them that someone must have stolen it.
A little while later he tells her that he rode his bike to Big Rock school and then I picked him up and drove him to school. I think the teacher realized then that she was being taken.
Finally he confesses that I just drove him to school.
I don’t know what possessed him to say all those things. Maybe he didn’t want to get me in trouble because I took him to school late? I don’t know.
So when he got home we had a chat about lying.

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Today Luke decided that his shoe needed to be filled with chocolate powder. He tried to wear his shoe and left a little chocolate powder trail around the kitchen.

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A few moments later Luke decided he didn’t want his diaper on. So he took it off the ran around in Laura’s room and pooped on her mattress. Lovely.

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Today I just want to eat watermelon, stay in bed and frump around in my baggy sweater and comfy baggy sweats. I want to be left alone. I love frump days. I feel like a cat. Just curl up in a patch of sunshine and doze. It’s great.

“Mom, how old were you when Robin Hood Prince of Thieves came out?”

“I was a teenager.”

“Really? How long ago was that?” Laura asks

Before I can even respond, Josh pips up “Like 1500 years ago?” …. sad part is that he was dead serious.

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Mya screaming at Brandon.
“Are you crazy? What’s wrong with you?!? Are you crazy? I think you’re crazy!”

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“I know who is the oldest in the house,” Brandon says confidently.
“Who?” I ask.
“Daddy,” he says assuringly.
“Why do you think that?” I ask.
“Because he’s taller than you.”
“Good thinking.” lol…. I’m actually older, but it really doesn’t matter.
“So, how old do you think daddy is?”
“59″
“hmmm…. How old do you think I am?” I ask.
He looks at me and ponders this for a good 5 minutes. Finally he pipes up, “79″
“79 huh?”
“Yep,” he says with all seriousness.
“Well, you’re right. Good guess.”
LOL… why argue with a 5 year old?

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