I’m tired…
Gah! I’m going too hard. I’m so exhausted, tired and frustrated. I want to hit something.
I get up at 6:30am, get ready for work, go to work, work through lunch so I can leave at 3:00pm, so I can make it 1 hour way to my motorcycle lessons, then take lessons from 5:45 - 10:30pm. Drive home, then I’m back by 11:30pm, unwind and clean up the disaster and start all over again. This is how my week will go this week. I’m so freakn’ exhausted. I wish I didn’t need sleep. I’m dyin’.
This motorcycle riding is harder than I thought. The first day we learned how to start and take off. Today we are doing shifting and cornering. The shifting is going ok, and the cornering is going ok, but I’m frustrated because I learn by repetition and I feel like I don’t get to do the same thing over and over enough until I have it perfect. It just seems like I’m just getting it then, boom, they switch to something different. The 2 instructors are not that great, but the owner kicks ass! He’s awesome! He’s got the patience of Job and he really explains things very well. I like specific, constant instruction and he’s always right there. He’s fabulous. The other 2, they are ok, but not all that great.
Today we did circles and serpentines all day today along with shifting. I was so frustrated near the end and Trevor picked up on it. He was able to calm me down and gently talked me through the serpentine. It was good. I still left tonite very frustrated because I wanted it to be perfect. I was able to do the circles and serpentines, but I wanted it to be perfect from start to finish. I would get it perfectly right until the very last turn and I’d run over a cone or I wouldn’t slow down enough to do the turn and blow it too wide. GAH! I want these to be perfect cuz this is what you’re tested on for your license. I’m so determined to do this right. I just want more practice. I feel like I spend the majority of my time sitting in a stupid line waiting for everyone else to go so I can go. I just want to do the same thing over and over and over until it’s right.
I left just frustrated and angry. I just wish I would cry just to let it all out, but I can’t. Instead it’s just building up inside and right now I just want to punch something or go for a long, fast run until I dry heave and have no energy left to exert any anger.
