The task is daunting…
So I’m trying to find a nanny and I find this task very over whelming. Part of me wants to stay home, but the other part of me is seeking freedom and I just don’t feel that I can handle the stress of the kids. Last week was a crazy week. The kids didn’t see me for 3 days straight. When I did see Mya for 5 min in the morning she cried and said she didn’t want me to go to work and she didn’t like the babysitter, she wanted me. It just broke my heart. Luke was very clingy to me and didn’t let me leave his sight when he did see me. I just feel bad. EVERYONE that I talk to thinks that I should just stay home and that I’m going to miss the best part of my kids lives as they grow up. *sigh* I dunno. I’m so torn.
I feel like a failure as a mother. I’m not Mary Poppins. I’m a great mom to one or two, but then I get overwhelmed when I have 5 coming at me. I have all these ideas in my head of the ideal mother and I never seem to achieve that. I feel so flustered, stressed, depressed and upset when I’m around them all the time. When I go to work, I feel like I can deal with them better cuz I’m not around them so much so I have more patience.
I’ve signed up to this nanny sight and I have 90 days to find someone. I need to grab someone within 1 week if possible. Just like me to leave things to the last minute. I think I’ve been procrastinating because part of me doesn’t want a nanny. I do, but I don’t. I really feel like the little old lady who lived in a shoe. I think I’m going to make that into my answering machine message, cuz I think it’ll be funny.
I want someone who will play with the kids, help them with their chores and who will take them out to the park all the time. I feel like my kids are bumps on a log. We go on a walk and they are complaining about how far they are walking. Sheesh.
The search for a nanny continues. I’ve found several that I would love to have, just the issue of a work visa I think. I’m trying to find someone from a commonwealth country so they won’t need a visa, but we’ll see. I’m hoping just to grab someone from Canada here.
My friend is going to be starting this adventure tours company soon and she wants me to work for her… umm.. hell ya! That’s soooo up my alley! I’d love to be able to be a group leader and take people skiing or on a zipline or travel to another part of the world. Gah! That would be a dream. I’m thinking she won’t be able to get it up and running until next year or something. Holy cheesepuffs Batman. I’d be so pumped to do this kind of job. I’d prolly take a pay cut, but I’d prolly take it since I’d be able to then travel around doing all the things I want to do and get paid for it. How snazzy is that?!? Giddy up baby!