The journey between here and there

I’ve been going 100 miles an hour. I was hoping this week would slow down, but it hasn’t. I’m so crazy busy. It seems like every moment is taken by something. I’m exhausted.

Monday I went into work. I only meant to go in for 2 hours and ended spending the day there. Then I went to Ryan’s shop to get an oil change and help him clean up.

It took me 2 days to find some pumpkins. I went to 7 stores and I finally found them in Safeway in Calgary. Each of the kids picked one out.

I took the kids to the zoo on Tuesday after they finished their chores. We got back late and the boys went to finish selling popcorn for Beavers - Scouts Canada.

Wednesday I went into work in the afternoon and left late. I talked with Dave via Skype and watched him open his unbirthday gift I sent to him 2 months late… It was crazy trying to talk to him cuz the kids were bouncing all over.

Each day I’ve getting up early to go to the gym. Today, I had a bunch of running around to do. I’m so tired today. I have to go into work tonite. It will be a crazy late night. I’m not looking forward to it.

Friday I’ve got to get the kids ready for Halloween parties at school. Then I’ve got to go watch the parade. After I have to get the kids ready to go out trick or treating for Halloween. We’ll go from 5:30pm - 9:00pm then it’s off to Kart World to go through their haunted house with friends. After we’ll hit a movie or go for dessert. Sheesh… I’m going to have to get some caffeine into my system to be able to stay awake.

Saturday I hope to sleep for most of the day. Then I’ve got to work in the evening. *sigh*

Then Sunday is a baby blessing for Ryan’s sister so we’ll be busy with that all day.

I just don’t know when I’m suppose to get things done around the house and keep up with everything. I’m constantly running from one thing to the next…. I need sleep so badly.

Happy Birthday to the Ball and Chain. He’s finally caught up to me and is 33 years old.

Every year he has a kickass birthday cuz I’m an awesome wife and always plan out and give him good gifts.

This year I picked him up a mountain bike and helmet. He gave his old one to his brother and has been bikeless.

It’s the same bike he rode while we were in Kananaskis. It’s a Rocky Mountain Soul.

We are taking him out to Cora’s for breakfast, then we’ll let him “hunt” for his bike and play a couple of games with the kids.

Then I’m taking him out to Bistro Provence for lunch at 11am just the two of us. They have the best smoked salmon served on this hot rock dish…. sooo yummy. The flavors are amazing!……. Lunch was in the plans, but we didn’t finish breakfast until 1015am so we really were not hungry. Instead we went to Starbucks just him and I. We sat on the couches and chatted. I gave him his card along with the spa gift certificate.

“12pm - 4:30pm! That’s a long time! What are they going to do to me?” He asks surprised.

After I explain all the things he is getting he has a huge grin on his face.

I dump him off at the spa right at noon and he’s going to get Balneotherapy, A Dessert Calm body wrap with a vische rain massage then followed with a 90 min. massage. He’ll be getting pampered and since he loves massages I’m sure he’ll enjoy this. Peace and quiet away from me and the kids. What more could he ask for?

I’ll pick him up at 4:30pm, then we’ll head over to NE Calgary for a baptism for one of our close friends little girl. I was so annoyed they booked it on the same day, but I am going to make it work. It’s from 6:30 - 7:30pm. I have to make sure we leave at 7:30pm and quickly drive back home, dump the kids off and head out to Ruth’sChris at the base of the Calgary Tower. He’s been wanting to go to this place for a long time.

A late dinner at 9pm. I hate to eat so late, but it’s the only time we have. After we’ll head to a movie cuz that’s his next most favorite thing to do is watch movies. Then home to rock his world in bed.

He’ll have a great day.

So my piano teacher is giving me a hard time because she sees the millions of things I take on and she wants me to just focus on my piano.

“Decide what you want to master. Then do it.” Were her words.

My problem is that my ADDness kicks into high gear and I can focus on something and give it 110%. I do excellent at that one task I focus on, however, then everything else falters and fails.

There’s so many things I want to do in my life. So, so, so many things. I just wish I could do it all NOW! I’m so impatient that way. She is right. I do need to focus. I finally get to do something I’ve wanted to do for the past 27 years. Now. The moment is here. It is difficult to practice with the kids since they always try to join me and play with me. I’ll have to do it in the evenings as they settle down for bed.

Discipline. Something I lack. I need to be more disciplined.

She played the piano for me and I cried. I love the piano so much. It just touches and stirs my soul. I just lose myself in the beauty of the music. I love classical music and love listening to people play the piano.

Since I was 5 I have wanted to play the piano. I’ve got these crazy long fingers that the piano teacher always gushes on about. Perfect for playing the piano. I’ve wanted to play the piano my entire life. Finally, I found a teacher who teaches the Susuki Method.

She’s a little odd. An old, opinionated lady who has learned her lessons in life the hard way and tells me what to do in a desperate attempt to stop me from making the same mistakes she did. I do listen to what she says and think about it. I always think that people who are older are wiser because they have lived life and made mistakes. Those are the greatest lessons you can learn from is others mistakes as well as your own.

She tells me that when my husband comes home from work, I should greet him as if he has been slaying dragons all day.

When he came home that day, I ran up and leaped into his arms, wrapped my legs around his body and gave him a good long kiss. I hugged him and whispered in his ear, “How’s my dragon slayer?”

I then told him what the piano teacher said. He smiled his big goofy smile and says, “I like your piano teacher.”

I do love Ryan. He puts up with a lot of my crap that I know no one else would. He’s so patient with me. I need someone who’s patient. He is always kind and waits for me to figure it out on my own. He is never mean or critical. He just patiently and quietly is always there. I run around a million miles a minute my mind always churning out new, crazy things to do and he is always supportive of whatever ridiculous thing I come up with. I know that if anything ever happened to me that he would take care of me. I just don’t understand how he can love someone as unloveable as me, but he does. As much as I try so hard to push him away, he holds on tight and refuses to let go. As much as he drives me absolutely insane, cuz we are such polar opposites he also compliments me. I really need to focus on the positives with him and our little family.

I just hope I can do this.

Discipline. How do I do this? I’m at a loss.

When Ryan went to the Priesthood session of General Conference, I decided to take all the kids and just to get out of the house.

Our first stop was for dinner at Tom’s House of Pizza. I had been here a long time ago, when I was single. I remember not liking it and vowing never to go back, but I thought that I’d give it a try again.

After parking and giving a verbal warning to all my kids to behave and them echoing reassurances that they would behave we went in. Any time I go anywhere with all my kids people just stare. I guess cuz they are so many, cuz they make a bit of noise and people always wonder if they are all mine. I always get asked that question when I go out. When I tell them that they are, I get the next question. How old are they? When I tell them the ages, 2, 4,5,7 and 10. Their eyes grow big and they always say, “Wow! You’re brave!”

Ya, ya. I just smile and say, “No, I’m crazy! I’m the little old lady who lived in a shoe, she had so many children she didn’t know what to do!”

That usually gets a chuckle out of them and then people always mention that I look great for having 5 kids. I smile and thank them for the compliment, then I can get on with my day. They will watch me and give me sympathetic glances or smiles when they get out of control.

This restaurant is a self serve restaurant. So you order your pizza, 1/2 pepperoni, 1/2 Hawaiian, then get your plates, utensils, napkins and set your own table. Then they bring your pizza to your table. Gee…. almost like home, but at least I don’t have to cook.

Thankfully there was a huge fish tank that went up to the ceiling that we sat by so the kids were distracted by the fish swimming for a good solid 3 minutes. Which was enough time to set the table and order the pizza. After that they ran to the juke box and we picked out songs to listen to while we waited. Then we had to take about 2 trips to the bathroom.

The bathroom was down this long hallway, which was a great race track for them, so they ran up and down squealing and shrieking until I dashed out and dragged them back to the table.

After another verbal warning they settled down to color on their coloring pages. Luke felt that in order for his wax crayons to work he needed to dip them in chocolate milk first. Soon after that he decided to just dunk a few crayons in his milk to give his milk that yummy crayon taste. Thank goodness they are non toxic. So after digging them out of Luke’s glass about 4 times, I also had to keep Brandon from snapping his crayons in half, pay attention to Mya showing me all her drawings, spell out words to Josh for the crossword puzzle and try to correctly answer the questions that were on Laura’s sheet….. All the while, I’m trying to eat my Caesar salad.

Thankfully the pizza came as their cries for, “Where’s the pizza?” began to irritate me. They quietly settled down and gobbled up the pizza. It was surprisingly good! I loved it!

I have learned to eat quickly while at a restaurant cuz the kids eat quickly then get get wiggly again. So I quickly downed 2 slices and I was full. It was so yummy! I loved the thin crust and the seasoning they put on it. Once they were finished then it was bathroom time again. Luke took off, but thankfully a customer caught him for me. I answer the same 4 questions and then can go catch the other 3 to stop them from running up and down the bathroom hallway.

I quickly usher everyone out to the vehicle. Next stop. The rollerskating rink. I really didn’t think this would be so bad taking all 5 kids to by myself. Obviously, I must think I’m superwoman or something.

I give Laura and Josh a coupon, some money and send them in to pay while I gather everything I need for Luke and find my bank card out of my purse. Luke sees an open door and dashes out squealing down the sidewalk. Brandon dashes after him and Mya runs after Brandon. They grab Luke and there’s screaming and crying and shrieking. *sigh*

We enter into the rollerskating building and I try to pay for the kids and myself. Luke is trying to dash through the doors. I’m trying to hold on to his shirt and he is pulling away from me, Brandon and Mya are play fighting beside me, bumping into me while I’m trying to punch in all the stuff into the debit machine.

I finally, put Luke in a football hold under my arm, tell the other 2 to knock it off and I finish the transaction.

We enter into the darkened rink area. The strobe lights are going, the disco ball is turning and colored lights flash on the the rink floor. Music is pounding and very loud. There are quite a few people here tonite and a bunch of them are dressed in 60’s and 70’s clothes, with the wigs, headbands and big glasses. It was hilarious!

Laura and Josh have gotten their Rollerblades and are sitting down to put them on.

I hold tightly to Luke’s hand as he is trying in vain to wriggle free from my grip. He plays the limp, dead trick so I just keep dragging him along the floor until I reach the skate rental area.

Rollerskates or Rollerblades? Hmm…

I grab rollerskates for Mya, Brandon and Luke. For myself I get Rollerblades. I do know how, I just haven’t done it in a few years. How hard can it be? Just like riding a bike right?

I help the kids get their stuff on then put on the rollerblades. I take Brandon out first. We skate out into the middle of the rink out of everyone’s way. It was slow and hard to balance myself, plus try to keep up Brandon who is a solid kid. He is the most like Ryan and Brandon is built like a football player. He’s heavy. After a few rounds, I go back and try out roller skates. I lace them up and take out Mya. I can barely go around in roller skates and I’m having even more trouble keeping Mya up. So I go back and switch back to rollerblades. I like these way better. I take Luke out for a few laps. It was very tiring and stressful trying to give each one a turn and to keep up with all 5. Josh hung out around the games area and Laura tried to help me take the little ones out on the floor.

I don’t think I would go back here until the kids are all a little bit older. I had a lady sympathizing with me.

“You are so brave to take all 5 kids out! Are they all yours?” She inquired.

I give her my typical response and try to help Mya stay off the floor. She then helps me the entire night to keep the other little kids occupied while I’m on the floor with one of the kids.

I would love to go back here with friends. It would be fun. I got to go around the rink two times by myself, but then had to go back because Luke was in tears that I was away from him.

The kids were cranky and whining and my tolerance level was lowering so I decided to switch gears and go bowling.

They have tonnes of energy so they were thrilled by the idea. It was 9:30pm. I called Ryan to see if he was done and to get him to meet me at the bowling alley.

We went to Chinook and I booked bowling for 30 min. The kids can only last for that long. It was glow in the dark bowling.

We all took turns and I helped Luke. Luke loved the idea of trying to follow the ball down the bowling lane. He kept trying to squirm out of my lap or away from my grip so he could chase the ball. Josh and Brandon did very well at bowling. Brandon ended up getting first. This of course wasn’t without tears. Josh was mad he didn’t get first, Mya got her fingers pinched when the balls came back up into the holder and Brandon was sulking because Ryan didn’t snuggle him enough. Laura, my sweet angel, was the only one that was calm and just simply enjoyed going out.

After we went for dessert at the Cheesecake cafe. It was 11:00pm. I was tired, the kids were still wired. They were tired, just fighting the sleep. We had cheesecake, the kids had some chicken fingers and fries. This however was not a good decision because the kids were in melt down mode. They were way too tired. Luke kept trying to climb up the seats to play with the blinds on the window. Mya and Brandon were fighting and Laura and Josh were fighting.

I just looked at Ryan and said, “What was I thinking?”

Ryan just shrugs. “I don’t know, but I’m pretty tired too.”

We decided to head for home. The chaos was getting to be a little much for me and my patience was wearing out.

We did have fun, it is just very exhausting hauling all 5 out.

Since it is close to Christmas I usually ask my kids what they want Santa to bring them for Christmas.

Mya thinks about it for awhile then says in a very definitive voice, “I want a gun.”

“A gun! That’s not a girl toy! Don’t you want something girly?” I say shocked and very amused by her request.

She sits and thinks for a minute then says, “I want a gun with flowers on it!”

LOL… She rocks my socks!

Wow! So I’ve been hitting the gym and my body is so amazing! The first day I almost died, same with the second, my heart rate was just through the roof. I was having a hard time to do cardio for an hour. The treadmill takes your heart rate after the work out. The first day my heart rate was 186. Second day it went to 175. 3rd day it went to 150, 4th day down to 135. I was running for the same length of time and the same speed.

My body is adapting quickly and easily to the pace. I gave myself a couple days off cuz I was so sore. The rest was perfect. My muscles healed and I’m ready to roar. Today I hit the gym and my usual work out didn’t wind me out at all. I did the same speed and time and I just felt like I could swim to China. I have this crazy energy surge in the middle of my run. I just love the energy. I’m going to have to put up my speed and change the settings to push my body more cuz I know it can handle it.

I love watching cartoons or just for gags while running on the treadmill. I’m just killing myself laughing on the treadmill. I’m sure everyone must think I’m nuts cuz I’ve got a huge smile on my face, laughing to myself, but I really don’t care. I love just for gags. It’s the best Canadian TV show out there.

I love these kinds of shows. They just poke fun at people and you don’t need sound to watch the show, which is good since I’m listening to the ipod.

October is such a crazy busy month. I don’t know why I always do this to myself. It seems like when I’ve got energy I make myself so busy I can barely think. This week is such a crazy week.

Monday I work until 8pm
Tuesday I work then go to a marketing seminar in the evening
Wednesday I work during the day then go to motorcycle races in the evening.
Thursday I work in the evening.
Friday we are going out with friends
Saturday is Ryan’s bday and we’re busy from 8am until midnight
Sunday is church and the kids have their sacrament presentation so we’ve got to be early for church.

Sheesh. Things just don’t slow down. I just want a day off just to catch up on laundry and house work and sleep!

Every year is always a struggle to get all the kids ready for pics and get there on time. I love the fall and we usually do pics in the fall. My friend Lisa took the pics and they were cute.

Unfortunately, Ryan ate too many retard sandwiches and wore his sunglasses for a lot of the pics so we had to redo a bunch of them. It’s really hard to get 7 people to smile all at the same time and have all the kids looking at the same time as well. There was usually one child in tears, not looking, not smiling or making a silly face in all the pics. *sigh* Ah well.

I really like the bum shot of our family. I think it’s so cute.

I’ve now got to start writing the Christmas letter and try to figure out which picture to choose for our family pics for Christmas. I haven’t done a Xmas letter since Brandon was a baby. I’m determined to do one this year.

The Lee family Christmas novel. Coming to a mailbox near you. Oh the tales I can tell.

It drives me crazy when they have dumb girls working in a place where a man should work. When I call somewhere and I want to speak to a man cuz it would be their area of expertise, and I get stuck talking to some girl who doesn’t know what the heck she is talking about, it takes all my self control not to lose it.

For instance. I call the bike shop. Asking a bunch of questions about tuning a bike vs. the bike check up and she can’t answer my questions. She doesn’t know the answers. They need to train her better.

I go to buy the kids an Xbox for Christmas and the person they have working in the department is a girl who doesn’t know the difference between a Playstation, Wii and the Xbox. It’s infuriating and very frustrating. I just walked around until I found a geeky looking guy who I figured would spend the majority of his time playing video games and he answered all my millions of questions as to which system to buy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think women are very useful in some situations…. like if I want advice on paint colors or decorating, I’ll seek out a woman. If I need to figure something out with my vehicle, I’ll ask a guy. Now I know there are exceptions to the rule, where a chick will know more than a guy… but those girls are far and few to be found.

I’m trying out this concept to see if it is really true. Normally I’m a night owl. I like to stay up late and sleep in.

I’ve decided to get on my resolution I made at the beginning of this year to get myself some abs. So I’ve got till the end of December.

After trying to figure out how to get to the gym, without interrupting the kids schedule or mine too much, the early AM is the way to go. So I’m up at 5:30am and going to the gym. I do an hour of cardio on the treadmill and then 1/2 hour of weights, then do 200 crunches all the different ways.

It’s day 2 of doing this and I’m sore. I need to stretch more I think, but my tummy is killing me. I like running outside better, but it’s too freakn’ cold now. The one perk of running on the treadmill is that I get to watch Looney Tunes cartoons. Everyone else is watching news or sports and I’m watching cartoons… hehehe…

I LOVE bugs, tweety, sylvester and the whole gang. They are quite humorous and I can understand what is going on without having to plug in the head phones. I bring along Laura’s IPOD, run and giggle at all the cartoons. I get crazy energy while I run. I love the running high afterward and the clean energy. Not sugar energy. Just a relaxed, I’m healthy energy.

Even after only 2 days I’ve noticed a difference in my energy level. It’s great. I wish I could bottle my energy and always have it for when I slump in the evenings, but oh well, I guess I need sleep sometimes. I hate sleeping.

The other great part about going to the gym at the crack of dawn is that there is no one there! It’s so nice to be able to work out and have the place pretty much to myself. I don’t look forward to January when freaks are making all their resolutions and the gym is packed.

I just look at my friends who are 40 and they are struggling with their weight. They say it all went down hill in their 30’s. So since I’m in my 30’s I might as well start on the whole going to the gym thing, cuz I’ve been skating by on good genes so far and that will prolly run out if I don’t do something about it.

I saw this woman over the summer who must have been in her 50’s. She had such a crazy fit body. She was wearing her gym clothes, shorts and a tank top. You could see the definition in her legs and arms. I was just in awe. Usually women that age are all chubby and plump, but not her. You could tell she had abs too! I was so impressed. She’s my motivation. Good for her I say. I wanna be like that. Just totally fit with great muscle definition.

I’m such a wimp. I am struggling to do my tricep stuff with a 5 lb weight. Sheesh.

I figure I’ll only take Sundays off. On Fridays when I’ll be dead from working Thursday nights I’ll just do 1/2 hr of cardio and then go home. That will be my low day. Everyday I plan to drag my @$$ out. We’re paying for this stupid membership, might as well use it.

We’ll see how long this kick lasts for. I’m really determined to have abs, and then keep them so here’s hoping I don’t hit a roller coaster down and stop going. I love Looney Tunes and just the thought of being able to watch the cartoon gets me out of bed.

I have this crazy Dodge to drive, but I’m not wild about it. My van has all the extra acha, cha, cha’s and this one that I’m driving is a stripped down version. I miss the stereo access on my steering wheel. I’m a radio station surfer and am constantly changing the station cuz I hate to listen to commercials. I also miss the DVD, power doors and power mirrors. It also doesn’t corner as well. I can usually do a corner at 80km in my mini van, but this rental doesn’t have good tires, so it squeals and fusses when I try to drive it hard.

“My tires on my van really make a difference.” I say to Ryan.

“It’s because I got you performance tires because I know you drive crazy.” He replies.

“Well, I notice a difference when I corner. Maybe we could do more upgrades to the van while it’s in the shop.” I suggest.

“Like a better suspension?” Ryan suggests.

“Yeah!”

“Like a new stereo with big subwoofers…” He adds.

“Yeah!”

“Like a better exhaust system and maybe we’ll lower it to the ground more.” He says seriously, but I know he’s just kidding.

“You know what it really needs?” I say mischievously with a huge grin on my face.

“What?”

“NOS! 2 tanks! That would be awesome!” I grin, imagining the power that would come from the bottles.

“Ya! Like you don’t have enough scratches already on your van.” He replies.

“Racing stripes…. remember? They’re my racing stripes. Who needs to get fancy decals when I can just bump into things?…. oohhh… and I’d like a big bumper with one of those cute grill thingys so you can push things outta the way… ya know? That would be great! Thanks hon!”

“Right.” He says sarcastically.

Personally, I think I NEED NOS. I think it would be quite the snazzy feature on my minivan.

***************

When we returned the Dodge mini van today and got my old one back. I’m quite happy, except for the fact that Ryan decided to put my winter tires on already. I don’t think it’s ready and it makes a loud noise and shakes the van when I try to stop abruptly. It has deep tread. *sigh*

We waited for Erik to come check over the vehicle for any damage.

“Well, I don’t think there are any dings on the van. I don’t remember running into anything this week.” I commented to Ryan.

“It must be your lucky week then.” He says drily.

“Nice! I don’t bonk into something every week!”

“No, just every other week.” He retorts.

I’m skinny. I know I am, but I sometimes just feel fat. I need to go to the gym and tone up. I don’t own a scale so I just go on how clothes fit me as an indicator of whether I’m fat or not.

I’m a size 1 or 2 in clothes and I really have no one to complain to because everyone I know is usually larger than me, except for my friend, “Barbie Doll.” It’s her nick name cuz she looks exactly like a barbie doll and she’s a size O. So I’ll moan and complain to her but that’s it. If I try to complain to anyone else they shut me down right away and get pissy at me.

I was getting dressed and was muttering to myself, “UGH! I’m so Chubby! I’m so, so, so chubby! I need to lose more weight. Like maybe another 5 - 10 lbs. huh. I just hate my tummy. I have no stretch marks, but I just hate this squishy tummy. I need to be skinner.”

Ryan looks at me and says, “What!?! You’re a rake! Just go to the gym. If you go to the gym, in 3 months you’ll have abs cuz you have very little body fat.”

“A rake?!? I look like a rake! Nice. How rude. I can’t believe you compared me to a rake!” I say very annoyed.

“You’re skinny! You don’t need to lose weight. Just get some muscle and you won’t feel chubby…..” he says, all of a sudden realizing he must have said something wrong.

“A rake, Ryan? Rake?!? A rake isn’t cute, a rake is this icky thing you push around dirt with… are you calling me icky?” I say now glaring at him with my hands on my hips.

He sputters out, “No! No! I didn’t say that. You’re very sexy. I love your body. I’m just saying…”

“I heard you! You called me a rake. A yucky rake. Like the rake in our garage rake? Really? That’s just rude. RUDE and mean! so MEAN! I’m not a rake.” I growl.

“I’m not getting into this with you. I like your body the way it is. Go to the gym if you want a hard tummy, but you’re not a rake.” He ends the conversation and refuses to talk anymore.

*sigh* Typical. He always does this. He never challenges me or gets into an argument with me. Just rolls over and plays dead.

I guess that’s good, but sometimes I like the verbal sparing, the spark and energy that comes from arguing. Ah well…

Our crazy mini van is going into the shop tomorrow. So the car rental guy, Erik, has been calling me this past week to see if I can come over to pick up the rental van.

Absolutely. I head over with my friend Rachel so she can be on the policy as well and so she can drive the new one back to my house. I fly into the parking lot and screech to a stop right at the front door. There were a couple of old men standing outside that leaped out of my way as I flew in. Their eyes were as big as saucers and they were shocked. They looked at the hole on the right side of my van and looked back at me. I’m sure they were thinking I hit a pedestrian or something.

I hop out, flash them my biggest smile, say, “HI!” in my cheeriest voice and saunter into the body shop. Rachel is behind me shaking her head.

I find Erik and hand him my drivers license and a credit card. He asks me which color I want, black, silver, brown or blue.

“Silver,” I say definitely, “cuz cops don’t notice silver vehicles when they are speeding down the road. It’s a proven fact.”

His eye brows shoot up, but he doesn’t say anything, just turns and taps on his computer.

“Umm… maybe you shouldn’t tell them the reason why you want that color.” She quietly says to me.

“What? Why? It’s true. Besides, I always get out of my tickets. Like they even care.” I reply, then switch the topic and begin to babble about my woes of finding a nanny.

“So there’s this girl I thought would be perfect, she works with kids already, she seems intelligent, she nice, etc. Then I find her on facebook and I find out she’s a fat, lesbian…. she’s probably a liberal too! Geez, damn liberals…”

Rachel shushes me, cuz I’m talking too loud. But I continue with my banter.

“So now what do I do? I’m really leary about that. I need someone who can keep up with my kids. I also don’t want her indoctrinate my kids either on her way of life. I don’t care what she does in her own little world. I just don’t want her entering mine or my kids. I think it’s important that I have someone who has the same value system as me, if she’s gonna be raising my kids. No offense to her or her lifestyle, but it is, what it is. She needs to be able to keep up to my kids and I don’t think she’ll be able to.”

Rachel is giggling and shaking her head. People in the office are staring at me. I just flash them a big grin.

Then I remember that there are other things wrong with my vehicle that I’ve discovered like the heat not working, the windshield wiper fluid not coming out and no interior dash lights at night. I then focus my energies on the adjuster that took my estimate, making sure they would look into my other issues.

I ask the rental guy if he needs Ryan’s ID as well. He assures me he doesn’t. I ask again 2 more times… just to make sure. He still doesn’t. He brings over the documents and I’m feeling a surge of energy cuz I’m excited over getting this new vehicle to burn around in and test it’s cornering ability. hehehe….

He tries to go over the policy/contract of the rental vehicle, but I keep interrupting him with my little questions and comments. I think they are funny, but he finds me very annoying. I begin to get a huge grin on my face now, cuz I’ve hit the annoyance nerve with him. Play time for me!

LOL… When people meet me, it’s either a love or hate thing… and this guy hated me…. hahahaha… I knew I was annoying the hell out of him, so I cranked it up even more. Might as well give him a good reason.

I grilled him about the contract and asked a question at least twice, just phrased it differently each time or offered my own sarcastic remark for anything he said. Just part of our conversation…

Erik: “So I gave you the weekend free….”

Me: “Whoo hoo! Thanks! You’re awesome, I really appreciate that!”

Erik: “And, I need you to sign here….”

Me: “Here?”

Erik: This is for the car rental agreement….

Me: I’m so excited to get this today…

Erik: Well, you’re really helping me out…

Me: Oh no! You’re helping me out!

Erik: Well, I’m just going to be swamped on Monday and you’re doing me a favor by picking this up today.

Me: Well, I’m just pumped to get it!

Then he goes into detail about how I have to pay for any speeding tickets I may occur while driving the rental.

Me: Oh… hmm… is it governed? Do ya know? Cuz maybe I can out run them? Ya think? How does that baby ride? Does it do corners well?

His eye brows go up again and his eyes grow wide.

Me: Ahh… it’s all good, I’ll just talk my way out of the ticket, don’t worry. I’m good at watching for speed traps. I’ll drive it like it was my baby… don’t you worry. I won’t drive it like bat out of hell…

Then I flash him my biggest smile and wink at him. I can tell he’s worried.

Erik: I’ve given you free kilometers….

Me: Sweet! Alright! Now we can go to BC… ooohhh or like PEI or something huh? Maybe I’ll just head off to Disneyland or something… oohh… that would be fun!

Erik: uuhhhhh…

Rachel: shhh… You’re not suppose to say things like that! Don’t tell him!

Me: Oh ya, right. Just kidding, we’ll just go to the edge of BC or sumin’ it’s all good. Thanks!

Erik: I need you to sign here….

Me: Here?

Erik: Yes.

Me: Right here, where you’ve got this snazzy x?

Erik: yes.

Me: I like how you’ve drawn the circle around the x… it’s like a bullzeye.

Then I start making shooting noises while I sign. He’s talking, but I’ve stopped paying attention and have just concentrated on doodling next to my signature.

Rachel nudges me.

Me: Huh? I’m listening. You want me to sign here to?

Erik then babbles on about what I’m signing about, I’m asking him tonnes of questions about the rental. Rachel is shaking her head and I’m just grinning away watching Erik’s reaction to all my stupid questions. I don’t even listen to the answer and interrupt him with my next question. He goes on a long explanation about I don’t know what, but I’m ignoring him and my mind has wandered off somewhere. I snap to attention when he says, “ok, so lets go take a look at the van.”

Me: Whoo hoo! My new shaggin wagon! Alright! Ohh… I’m so excited I get to christen this baby.

Rachel is giggling and shaking her head behind me.

Erik’s eyes grow big again and his eye brows shoot up.

I begin to babble to Rachel about… I forget what, but usually something that doesn’t make sense.

I pause to yell at Erik, “Where are we going? Are we going on a hike? Geez, if I would have known it was this far I wouldn’t have worn my hooker boots….. It’s across the street? oohhh… yippeee! We get to cross the street! Do I have to hold your hand? Rachel, can you hold my hand? I’m scared…..Wait a minute… why do you park the cars across the street? Aren’t you afraid they get stolen? Or crashed into? That would suck huh? Then again you’re right in a auto body shop, so you’re good huh? But the cars will get full of dust…. oohhh cars… look out! Don’t get run over. Let’s put our arm out to cross…. Should we give them the honk signal and see if they’ll honk for us? or should we like dash out and see how well their brakes work?” I’m giggling to myself cuz I can tell I’m irritating him and cuz I’ve also just envisioned the cars screeching to a halt and the looks on the drivers face if I did just that.

I spew out my babble, only pausing for a quick second between all my ridiculous questions. He’s walking awfully fast for such a short man. I’m skipping along behind happy as a jay bird, yapping the entire time.

Erik begins to talk about the extra insurance coverage on the van, how much it costs per day and what it’s all for. I turn it down cuz my insurance would already cover any losses. I quiz him on the various things I would hit and if it would be covered or not. He’s getting very annoyed.

Erik: “Now we’re going to do a vision inspection of the vehicles. See this circle on this paper, anything that’s in the circle is just normal wear and tear and we won’t worry about it. What we are looking for is anything that is bigger than the circle.”

Now this circle is as big as an naval orange. I understood exactly what he was saying, I just wanted to clarify…. so I went around and inspected very closely every inch of the van and asked him about each and every spec I saw….. even if it was “in the circle.” I was giggling the entire time as well, cuz I thought I was so damn funny…. well, it was funny to me. Since I am quite observant, I managed to catch every single ding on the vehicle…. much to Erik’s dismay.

Me: “What about this ding?”

Erik: “No”

Me: “oohh, how about this one?”

Erik: “No”

Me: “This one?”

Erik: “No, what we’re looking for is something that is bigger than this circle.”

Me: “Well, I just am trying to point them all out to you, so you don’t think I dinged up the van and I get charged some stupid amount, that’s all… What about this one?”

Erik: “No.”

Me: “Oh here’s one, look, it’s like someone bashed the van with a car door or something.”

Erick: “That’s just considered everyday use damage and it doesn’t count because it’s smaller than the circle.”

Me: “So if I accidentally bump into something and it’s smaller than the circle it’s ok?”

Erik: “Well, no, it can’t be dented in…”

Me: “oh, so I can bump into something then and scratch the vehicle just not dent it.”

Erik: “No, it’s just regular use dings.”

Me: “Well, you said it had to be smaller than the circle. What if some little old lady runs into me with her shopping cart and it takes away some of the paint or something….”

Erik begins to explain and I don’t even listen cuz I’m trying to find the next ding.

“What about this one?” I ask interrupting him.

Erik: “No.”

Me: “This one?”

Erik: “No.”

Me: “This one?”

Now Rachel is explaining to me what Erick explained a handful of times. I just giggled. This was fun, cuz now I was bugging both of them. I love playing stupid. It amuses me greatly.

Me: “Look, I’m just trying to clarify and make sure, cuz I don’t want to pay for the stupidness of other people. What about this one?”

Erik goes and sits in the van.

Rachel: “No!”

I follow Erik into the van from the back passenger door and crawl up to the front passenger seat.

Me:” Ooh, snazzzzy! Look at this.” I begin to touch and play with buttons.

Erik begins his babble about glass coverage. We now have to check the glass for dings. Oh happy day…. I’m grinning even wider now, my eyes dancing with mischief.

Me: “Well, your window on this van is dirty cuz you insist on parking it in the street. How am I suppose to see the dings on the windshield? I don’t want to pay for a windshield either!”

Erik turns on the windshield wipers.

Me: “Oh thanks, What about this one?”

Erik: “Yes, I’ve already documented that one. There’s only one rock chip on this van windshield.”

Me: “What about this one?”

Erik: “That’s not a rock chip.”

Me: “Sure it is. I can see it. It’s a ding. It’s a faint ding, but a ding none the less. Are you trying to not see a ding so you can charge me for a rock chip and get me to pay for a new one?”

Erik: “No, but those are not rock chips they are dings, they won’t travel and won’t do any damage, we are looking for big ones like this one.” He points to the round obvious rock chip in the window.

Me: “What about this one and this one and this one and this one and this one…”

I point out all the small dings.

Erick is now flustered and very annoyed, even more than before. He says no, but before he can explain himself, I just interrupt him with another “This one?” I’ve got my face pressed up to the windshield examining it very, very, very closely.”

Finally I find one.

Me: “What about this one?” I point to it.

Erik doesn’t even look up cuz he’s scribbling on a sheet of paper.

Me: “Cuz this one is traveling already and it looks like a rock chip.”

Erik finally pays attention and mutters, “Yes, that’s one.”

Me: “seeeeee…. look at that…. So there’s 2 not just one. I would have had to pay for a new windshield cuz you said there was only 1 and then I’d be out even more money! Ha! What about this one?”

Erik: “No.”

Me: “This one?”

Erik: “No.”

Me: “Well, now I can’t see up here cuz this part is all dirty and dusty and I can’t see that well, what if there’s a rock chip and I don’t see it and then I’ll get charged for it?”

Erik: “There’s none there.”

Me: “Sure, sure, you also said there was only one rock chip and I found another one.”

Erik: “It’s just the two.”

He then begins to babble about something else, but I’m not paying attention cuz I’m focusing intently on the part of the windshield that’s dirty trying to find a chip. He tears apart his copy and gives it to me.

“Here, is your copy. Everything is fine. Enjoy the van.” He says with a sigh of relief. Then quickly gets out and walks away.

I’m howling with laughter. I scream at him, “See ya later! Have a great day!”

Rachel is laughing and shaking her head.

“That was fun!” I giggle. “See ya at home!”

When we got home I jumped into the new van, transferred the kids and we were off on our adventure for the day. I notice an exclamation mark on the dash. I call Erik.

He answers the phone all professional.

“Thank you for calling xyz rentals, Erik speaking.”

“Hi Erik! It’s Joanne calling.” I say loudly in my bubbly voice.

He sighs and says in a ‘dreading, what the hell do you want, you’re annoying the hell out of me’ voice “Yes?”

I laugh and tell him my problem. This time I don’t bombard him with a million questions and just listen to his answer, cuz I actually wanted to know.

Turns out it’s tire pressure.

“If it persists you need to call me so I can take care of it.” He responds.

“Naw…. my husband owns a tire shop, so I’ll just get him to take a look at it, forget about it. Thanks!”

In the most professional voice he says, “ok, thank you. Have a nice day.”

“You too!!!” I gush back in my cheeriest, bubbliest voice.

I hope I see him again when I get to drop off the van. I’m sure he’s dreading the return already… hehehehe….

I must be a manic depressive or something… sheesh. That was a crazy bout of craziness. I’m finally feeling better and back to my chipper, silly self. Ryan is finally paying some attention to me. He’s realized that he can’t ignore me and is taking me out 2 times a week now. I’m still leary, but not as angry or miserable as before. He is answering his phone when I call, keeping his promises and is following my instructions on taking care of the kids. (I still feed them before I go to work though.)

Seriously, I don’t know why he tries so hard to keep me. I can be the biggest, crankiest byatch and he still wants to be with me. That just always amazes me. I’ll try to push him away so very hard. I was on a one word/silent treatment with him and he got scared I guess. So we’ll see how long he keeps trying for.

He still frustrates the hell out of me, but he’s pulled out his aces and they are good. He’s speaking in my language now. Time, traveling and money honey. The business is doing very well and he is promising me trips. I’m warming up. I love to travel. The kids are on the count down for Disney World. I’ve told them that when Luke is 3 we can go. So next year. Prolly for Xmas we’ll head over there for 2 weeks. Our mortgage will be paid off in a year and we’ll hopefully move into a bigger house.

I still plan on doing my own thing though. There are just somethings that he’s not keen on. To each their own. I’ve got the house under control now. Laundry, dishes and housework is all caught up. I’m back to having packed weekends doing fun stuff and I’m back to the happy, silly me. Thank goodness. I was worried for a moment that I wouldn’t be able to break that downer I was on.

I’m a roller coaster ride. Just up and down. I’m thinking of taking meds again, but I just don’t want them to wear out then have to take bigger and bigger doses. That and I’m horrible at taking any kind of meds. It’s the ADD in me I’ve realized. That’s also why I can’t ever be on the pill. I’ll remember for a day, then forget for a day, then remember for one day, then forget for 2 days, then take 2 the same day…. it’s bad. I wonder if I can get a patch for meds so it can just seep into my system slowly. Bleh. I hate meds. Thank goodness I’m always healthy…. well, physically anyway.