Finally…
I must be a manic depressive or something… sheesh. That was a crazy bout of craziness. I’m finally feeling better and back to my chipper, silly self. Ryan is finally paying some attention to me. He’s realized that he can’t ignore me and is taking me out 2 times a week now. I’m still leary, but not as angry or miserable as before. He is answering his phone when I call, keeping his promises and is following my instructions on taking care of the kids. (I still feed them before I go to work though.)
Seriously, I don’t know why he tries so hard to keep me. I can be the biggest, crankiest byatch and he still wants to be with me. That just always amazes me. I’ll try to push him away so very hard. I was on a one word/silent treatment with him and he got scared I guess. So we’ll see how long he keeps trying for.
He still frustrates the hell out of me, but he’s pulled out his aces and they are good. He’s speaking in my language now. Time, traveling and money honey. The business is doing very well and he is promising me trips. I’m warming up. I love to travel. The kids are on the count down for Disney World. I’ve told them that when Luke is 3 we can go. So next year. Prolly for Xmas we’ll head over there for 2 weeks. Our mortgage will be paid off in a year and we’ll hopefully move into a bigger house.
I still plan on doing my own thing though. There are just somethings that he’s not keen on. To each their own. I’ve got the house under control now. Laundry, dishes and housework is all caught up. I’m back to having packed weekends doing fun stuff and I’m back to the happy, silly me. Thank goodness. I was worried for a moment that I wouldn’t be able to break that downer I was on.
I’m a roller coaster ride. Just up and down. I’m thinking of taking meds again, but I just don’t want them to wear out then have to take bigger and bigger doses. That and I’m horrible at taking any kind of meds. It’s the ADD in me I’ve realized. That’s also why I can’t ever be on the pill. I’ll remember for a day, then forget for a day, then remember for one day, then forget for 2 days, then take 2 the same day…. it’s bad. I wonder if I can get a patch for meds so it can just seep into my system slowly. Bleh. I hate meds. Thank goodness I’m always healthy…. well, physically anyway.