It’s all perception….
I’m skinny. I know I am, but I sometimes just feel fat. I need to go to the gym and tone up. I don’t own a scale so I just go on how clothes fit me as an indicator of whether I’m fat or not.
I’m a size 1 or 2 in clothes and I really have no one to complain to because everyone I know is usually larger than me, except for my friend, “Barbie Doll.” It’s her nick name cuz she looks exactly like a barbie doll and she’s a size O. So I’ll moan and complain to her but that’s it. If I try to complain to anyone else they shut me down right away and get pissy at me.
I was getting dressed and was muttering to myself, “UGH! I’m so Chubby! I’m so, so, so chubby! I need to lose more weight. Like maybe another 5 - 10 lbs. huh. I just hate my tummy. I have no stretch marks, but I just hate this squishy tummy. I need to be skinner.”
Ryan looks at me and says, “What!?! You’re a rake! Just go to the gym. If you go to the gym, in 3 months you’ll have abs cuz you have very little body fat.”
“A rake?!? I look like a rake! Nice. How rude. I can’t believe you compared me to a rake!” I say very annoyed.
“You’re skinny! You don’t need to lose weight. Just get some muscle and you won’t feel chubby…..” he says, all of a sudden realizing he must have said something wrong.
“A rake, Ryan? Rake?!? A rake isn’t cute, a rake is this icky thing you push around dirt with… are you calling me icky?” I say now glaring at him with my hands on my hips.
He sputters out, “No! No! I didn’t say that. You’re very sexy. I love your body. I’m just saying…”
“I heard you! You called me a rake. A yucky rake. Like the rake in our garage rake? Really? That’s just rude. RUDE and mean! so MEAN! I’m not a rake.” I growl.
“I’m not getting into this with you. I like your body the way it is. Go to the gym if you want a hard tummy, but you’re not a rake.” He ends the conversation and refuses to talk anymore.
*sigh* Typical. He always does this. He never challenges me or gets into an argument with me. Just rolls over and plays dead.
I guess that’s good, but sometimes I like the verbal sparing, the spark and energy that comes from arguing. Ah well…