The journey between here and there

So my piano teacher is giving me a hard time because she sees the millions of things I take on and she wants me to just focus on my piano.

“Decide what you want to master. Then do it.” Were her words.

My problem is that my ADDness kicks into high gear and I can focus on something and give it 110%. I do excellent at that one task I focus on, however, then everything else falters and fails.

There’s so many things I want to do in my life. So, so, so many things. I just wish I could do it all NOW! I’m so impatient that way. She is right. I do need to focus. I finally get to do something I’ve wanted to do for the past 27 years. Now. The moment is here. It is difficult to practice with the kids since they always try to join me and play with me. I’ll have to do it in the evenings as they settle down for bed.

Discipline. Something I lack. I need to be more disciplined.

She played the piano for me and I cried. I love the piano so much. It just touches and stirs my soul. I just lose myself in the beauty of the music. I love classical music and love listening to people play the piano.

Since I was 5 I have wanted to play the piano. I’ve got these crazy long fingers that the piano teacher always gushes on about. Perfect for playing the piano. I’ve wanted to play the piano my entire life. Finally, I found a teacher who teaches the Susuki Method.

She’s a little odd. An old, opinionated lady who has learned her lessons in life the hard way and tells me what to do in a desperate attempt to stop me from making the same mistakes she did. I do listen to what she says and think about it. I always think that people who are older are wiser because they have lived life and made mistakes. Those are the greatest lessons you can learn from is others mistakes as well as your own.

She tells me that when my husband comes home from work, I should greet him as if he has been slaying dragons all day.

When he came home that day, I ran up and leaped into his arms, wrapped my legs around his body and gave him a good long kiss. I hugged him and whispered in his ear, “How’s my dragon slayer?”

I then told him what the piano teacher said. He smiled his big goofy smile and says, “I like your piano teacher.”

I do love Ryan. He puts up with a lot of my crap that I know no one else would. He’s so patient with me. I need someone who’s patient. He is always kind and waits for me to figure it out on my own. He is never mean or critical. He just patiently and quietly is always there. I run around a million miles a minute my mind always churning out new, crazy things to do and he is always supportive of whatever ridiculous thing I come up with. I know that if anything ever happened to me that he would take care of me. I just don’t understand how he can love someone as unloveable as me, but he does. As much as I try so hard to push him away, he holds on tight and refuses to let go. As much as he drives me absolutely insane, cuz we are such polar opposites he also compliments me. I really need to focus on the positives with him and our little family.

I just hope I can do this.

Discipline. How do I do this? I’m at a loss.