The journey between here and there

1. I’m not a peace maker…. I’m a chaos maker. I’m all about making love AND war.

2. My favorite colors are red, black and white.

3. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my new shiny red Kawasaki Ninja 250R motorcycle and my Dainese outfit. I can’t wait to ride that gorgeous machine! Spring can’t get here soon enough for me.

4. When I was 1 1/2 I so badly wanted a horse. I used my German Sheppard dog, “Jumbo” as my horse. He didn’t like playing horsey with me. I thought he was a magnificent horse cuz he was so big compared to me. To finally get through to me that he didn’t like to play this game with me, he bit me on my face and just missed my eye by millimeters. I got 30 stitches on the side of my left temple, but I got ice cream after. Whoo hoo! When we got back to the farm, my dad shot the dog in front of me. Not so whoo hoo. To this day, I can still close my eyes and see every moment happen in full color from beginning to end.

5. I think all roads are my personal race track and I always ‘race’ against other vehicles whether they are aware of it or not.

6. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to puddle splash in any vehicle. My goal is to try to go over a puddle fast enough so the wave goes right over my van. I’m very accomplished at this.

7. There are ’some’ people who refuse to drive with me…. although I don’t know why. I think I’m a great driver… obviously they don’t like seeing their life flash before their eyes… whatever.

8. I have foot in mouth syndrome and a bad case of verbal diarrhea. I’m very blunt and lots of people can’t handle the stuff that spews from my mouth. I am working on this. If I just stare at you without saying anything, it’s because I’m trying to stop myself from saying something that will make you curl up in fetus position and cry.

9. My goal is to travel to every single country in my lifetime at least once. Then to travel to all the various regions in each country as well.

10. Things I want to do in the next 2 years: drive a team of sled dogs (preferably in Alaska, but Banff will do), go ice climbing, go para sailing in Hawaii, go see a volcano, go underwater diving and explore the underwater world, go hang gliding again, go para gliding, go 4x4ing, ride in a helicopter, go in a aerobatic glider, go deep sea fishing, go in a shark cage, do indoor skydiving, feed crocodiles, swim with dolphins, go to a Broadway play in NY, kayak in the ocean, repel down a waterfall, go Zorbing in New Zealand, go to Disney World, go Mountain biking down Mount 7, go to a shooting range, play outdoor paintball, race motorcycles, go see a Grand Prix race, go watch a Moto GP race, try river surfing, fly in a jet plane, etc.

11. Things I want to do in the next 5 years: buy a snowmobile, buy a dirt bike, go to a play in London, go to the Sydney Opera house, go to Europe and Australia.

12. I am very impatient and hate waiting… but I am always late and people are usually always waiting for me.

13. I am an adrenaline junkie. Anything that has warnings about something that can kill me or severely injure me, I’m sooooo excited to try it! My new moto is: It’s not worth doing, if you’re not completely stressed out about it.

14. I hate having my hair pulled. I have a low pain tolerance.

15. I am a hypochondriac. If I watch the news and they talk about a disease, I’m always sure I have it. I do however, resist the temptation to book an appointment with my doctor… I just google it and stress over it for a week. I just don’t watch the news anymore.

16. I am claustrophobic in water. Especially the ocean. I can swim, I just don’t like it when I can’t touch the bottom. I have to concentrate and focus really hard to calm myself down and not spaz out in the water when I am too deep. I blame friends who always felt the need to dunk me in the pool as a kid…. that and I hate eels, snakes and reptiles.

17. I want to be Darth Vader, but I’m kinda glad I’m not cuz I probably would have killed or injured everyone I know at one point or another. Yes, I have dark, evil thoughts.

18. When I was little I always wanted to be a police officer because I wanted to pack a gun, shoot things and drive like a lunatic in my car. Then I got my car and realized I could drive like a lunatic and do crazy turns in my car without having to be a cop. I also played paintball and realized I could shoot people without having them die on me and having to fill out mounds of paper work about it…. So now I’ve curbed the desire to be a cop.

19. I’m half Filipino and half German. I can only speak English and a little French. My dad was 63 when he conceived me. My mom was 27. I have a step brother who is older than my mom… by 5 years. I have 2 brothers who are my actually my cousins.

20. I’m ADD and I’m a manic depressive. I only realized that I was ADD in 2008 when someone asked me if I was. So I googled it. It listed 18 symptoms, I was all 18. I do wish someone would have informed me of this sooner.

21. I love going to art galleries and looking at any kind of art. I like looking at art that’s all crazy looking, I don’t know what they call it, but the stuff where they splatter paint on a canvas and make some ridiculous story about uniting a country or some mumbo jumbo and some retard buys into it and pays a stupid amount of money for paint splatter…. makes me want to be an artist and find a retard. I hear the Canadian gov. is full of them since they bought one of those paintings.

22. I want to fly. I want to get my pilots license and one day I want to fly my own plane. I want to do acrobatics and swoops in the air.

23. When I was a teenager I shot myself in the hand with a BB gun because I wanted to know how it would feel to get shot…. yep, it hurts.

24. I get sick once or twice a year and it’s usually in December because I hate Christmas so much. I blame the wise men for the ridiculous tradition of gift giving. I also blame commercialism and advertising. Out of all the holidays in the year, I hate Valentines day and my birthday. I hate Christmas the most.

25. I will publish the kids book I’ve written once I find an illustrator and figure out how to go about publishing something like that.

I think Taylor Swift is just gorgeous and a great song writer. I really like, “Love Story.”

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear From the female side.
‘ the rules’
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are the male rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered ‘1 ‘
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

From: Men all over the world.

*******************
Hilarious! I loved these! I think this is so true.

The alarm screeched at me way too early on Thursday morning at 5:30am. I instantly sprang out of bed, because despite the fact that I didn’t crawl into bed until 12:30am, my adrenaline kicked up and I was flying around getting ready for a fabulous day of fun!

My daughter’s Grade 5 class was going to skiing. I wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity to snowboard. I signed up for group and private lessons, I am determined to learn this sport if it kills me. We had to be at the school at 6:20am. We arrived at 6:18am. I was so freakn’ proud of myself that I was on time for once in my life.

I boarded the bus happily because I knew I could sleep on the way down. My body was protesting and grumbling because I had gotten so little sleep. I sat down beside a lady who used to be my friend until I pissed her off and hurt her feelings over something I said. Since she has never told me exactly what I said or did that pissed me off and she is civil with me but refuses to be my close friend. I did offer a blanket apology over hurting her feelings, but if she’s going to act all stupid like women do and not tell me exactly what I did, it’s kinda hard to be more specific on my apology.

I really hate women. They suck. I don’t get along with the majority of them because they are so freakn’ sensitive. May seem bitchy, but I don’t have time for people who take offense at the stupid things I say or do. I’m very upfront and blunt with people if they annoy me or piss me off. She had done both so I told her to not act like a child and not ruin my party. I suppose I should have handled the situation better, but I’ve cut ties with anyone who can’t talk to me like an adult. I refuse to walk on egg shells around anyone, if anyone has a problem with my behavior, frankly I don’t give a damn. They either learn to adjust to my craziness or they stop being my friend.

So after a superficial conversation with her, I was falling asleep listening to her babble. I was only half listening and my ‘uh huh’s’ were starting to drawl. I cuddled into my blanket, put my knees on the seat in front of me and fell asleep. I was sitting on the outside and did not have a very restful sleep nor did I fall asleep into a deep sleep. Just one of those annoying light ones.

We arrived at the hill, I helped Laura get all her gear and made sure she made it to her lessons. I reminded her to have fun. Ryan bribed her and gave her $50 to go skiing. Ridiculous, but it worked, she was there. I was really hoping that the day would be great for her, she’d learn more and enjoy herself.

The day was beautiful. The mountains were all around us and the weather was very nice. I had dressed in 5 layers, expecting it to be -13C, but surprisingly it felt like +2C. The sun peeked out from behind the clouds and stayed around for the entire day.

My group lesson sucked. I didn’t learn anything new until the last run down. He was teaching us how to link our turns. We practiced it once, then the lesson was over. So stupid. We spent most of the time waiting to go on the magic carpet. We did a total of 5 runs down the little bunny hill. I was so pissed. If I would have known it would suck rotten eggs that badly I would have just gotten myself private lessons for the morning as well.

Grumbly over the fact that I didn’t learn anything new I went to grab something to eat from the cafeteria. After paying way to much for a gross turkey sandwich ($11) and m&m’s I sat by a couple other friends who were parent supervisors as well. I sat with them instead of the lady I sat with on the bus cuz I knew I could talk trash with them and they would laugh at my sarcasm. After eating 1/2 of the revolting sandwich that tasted like cardboard I chased it down with lots of water and got all my stuff ready to go out on the hill again. They invited the lady over after a few stares from her to our table. They didn’t like her all that much either, but they felt the need to include her. How nice. I was off to snowboard so I didn’t care what they did. As she comes over she shoots me a dirty look. Good frackn’ grief. I really hate immature women. Psycho, is all I could think as I tossed on my helmet and quickly retreated outside.

I stuck to the green circles because I still hadn’t figured out how to link my turns… let alone turn where I wanted to go. I could go down the hill, but just on the heel or toe edge.

I boarded for an hour, falling on my arse at least 2 times down the hill each time I went down. At 1pm I sauntered over to the private lesson area, met my instructor and we were off to the hill I was going down. Horray, no bunny hill for me now!

He was from New Zealand and just so uber nice. Patience of Job that guy. He was an amazing snowboarder. He would hold my hands as I was going down backwards on the hill and he talk me through turns. He had to catch me a few times. He was really supportive, encouraging and so nice. I would be killing myself laughing everytime I kissed it. He would come over all worried and concerned I was hurt. It amused me greatly. I was always fine each time. I was learning so much and he was helping me improve very quickly.

The funniest part of the day was when we were coming down the hill and there’s a part where there’s a sharp 90 degree corner with a wood fence that blocks it off so you don’t go crashing down to the trail down below. HA! Well, I come flying down the hill and head straight for the wood. I was trying so hard to turn my knee, my body and my head to look at the opposite direction I was heading, but to no avail. I couldn’t turn. I smoked into the fence. There were wide slots in the fence and I tried to grab onto the fence to stop myself from going through, but my board kept going so I just let go and just went from the fence to the other trail on the other side. Everyone on the chair lift was howling with laughter over the antics they just witnessed. I just fell on my butt to stop my decent any further. I stood up, turned to the people on the chair lift and flexed my muscles at them grinning and laughing. I bowed. I was so proud of my stunt.

My instructor follows me thorugh the fence and his face is full of concern. After a flood of ‘Are you ok? Are you hurt?”, he relaxes a bit.

“Geez, I thought I had to call ski patrol up here to take you down the hill cuz one of my students hurt themselves. I’m glad you’re ok.” He sighs in relief.

I’m howling with laughter over my stupidness. After reassuring him a bunch more times that nothing was broken and I was fine, I ask him what I did wrong. He explains what I did. He explains what I need to do and then he grabs my hands to make sure I don’t go flying into the trees right beside us as we make our way down the hill. When he let go, I flew down the hill and made 3 perfect links until I came to a controlled stop where he told me to. I was so proud of myself. After that I was going down the hill linking my turns. He was overjoyed over my progress and so was I.

I’m never, ever going to do group lessons ever again. Private lessons are the only way to go and I don’t care how much it costs, I’m always doing private lessons no matter what I decide to learn. I just absorbed everything he said. When I crashed I would ask him what I did wrong. He was very patient and would explain what I did, why I crashed and how to avoid making the same mistake next time. The lesson lasted for 1 1/2 and it seemed to fly by. After the lesson I had only 30 min before I had to head back to the lodge and back to the bus.

On the bus I managed to score 2 seats all to myself. I was exhausted. I curled up on the two seats, snuggled into my blanket and was out like a light in 5 seconds. I awoke once we got back to school.

Fabulous. Just a fabulous day! I asked Laura if she had fun skiing with her friends. She said yes, but then began to down play it once I asked her to come to Sunshine with me on Monday. She didn’t want to go again. I just can’t figure that girl out. She’s so odd. I tried to convince her of the fun, but she wouldn’t have anything to do with it, so I dropped it. After we got home, I dropped the kids off at Ryan’s work (it was 6:00pm) and took Laura into Calgary for a movie. We went to see Pink Panter 2. Hilarious. Stupid slapstick comedy. Steve Martin at his best. The stupid love story they injected didn’t piss me off like it normally would, maybe because I was so tired, but probably because I was constantly giggling at Martin’s funniness. He’s a comedy genius.

I’m excited for Monday! It’s going to be +8C, sunny, beautiful and perfect for snowboarding. It’s snowing now and will snow for the next 3 days straight. At least I have 3 days to get over the soreness. At least I’m not as sore as the first time I went snowboarding. I’m going to sign up for more lessons at Sunshine and just go have fun with my friend Shauna. She rocks! She can make me laugh like no one else can. She’s such a riot! It will be a blast snowboarding with her, her son and Josh.

I just hope to get over the soreness by then. Friday was a horrible day. I was cranky and very subdued on Friday because I was tired, sore and had forgotten about the kids Valentines day parities. Bleh. I ran around all day scrambling to do all the things that I should have done Thursday night. I took a nap at noon, but it didn’t help. I was still exhausted. I went to Ryan’s work and quietly did my work. The guys were all confused that the bubbly, crazy me wasn’t around. I wasn’t mean, just very subdued. It threw them for a loop. They kept asking me if I was ok. I told them I was tired, sore and cranky and to leave me alone so I can suffer in silence. They kept coming around to try to make me laugh. I would give them my polite smile or just say, ‘that’s funny.’ No hard belly laugh or craziness came from me today. They were so confused. Heh. I should have just stayed home. People are just beside themselves when I don’t act my bubbly self. It’s so frustrating for me. I should have stayed in bed and slept, but I wanted money so I came in. I need sleep. I hope I can sleep most of the day tomorrow.

Valentines Day is tomorrow. Bleh. I hate this holiday. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow. It’s just going to blow just like every single year. Arg. Stupid lovey dovey holidays.

Josh turned 8 on Monday. Geez. Time just flies. It seemed just not too long ago I was in labor and making Ryan stop for gas on the way to the hospital so we didn’t have to go there on the way home. I don’t know why I was so determined to fill up the car before I had the baby, I just was. I arrived at the hospital at 8:00am, had Josh at 9:00am backwards on my knees on the bed with my midwives at the Peter Lougheed. Then 3 hours later, by noon I was home in my own and Ryan was making me blueberry pancakes, with whipping cream, bacon and scrambled eggs.

I hate the hospital and was so glad the midwives could release me from that horrid place.

Josh wanted to go to the Cheesecake cafe so we went for his birthday dinner as a family. We made them put us in the corner booth far away from any other customer. It was crazy as always, Luke kept sneaking out from under the table and running off around the restaurant, while we chased him up and down the aisles. The kids were goofing around and creating such a ruckus. I was so stressed and kept shushing them in vain.

Thankfully the food came and we were able to eat, so they were silent for a good 5 minutes. I lost my appetite because Luke kept on squirming and trying desperately to escape the booth. I can’t eat when I’m stressed, so I ate 3 bites of my food and the rest just sat there. It wasn’t that great anyway. We usually eat at restaurants that are at a higher caliber and quality than the Cheesecake, so this meal was something that I could easily make at home. If I can make it at home I get annoyed because when I go out, I want the chef to wow me. To have the presentation and flavors be absolutely divine. I wasn’t wowed. For the price we paid I think it was waaaay over priced.

Josh enjoyed himself and had a great time. We had his birthday party with his friends on Saturday Feb. 7. For his birthday party we took him and 6 friends to LaserTrek in Calgary. They had a blast playing for an hour. They had so much fun and gushed about it when they came out. We had pop, pizza and cake in the party room. We opened up gifts then went on our way to the movie theatre. I took them to see Tales of Despereaux. It was a great movie. One little boy had to go home because he has Lupus and started to get sick. His parents came and got him. After the movie we brought the boys back to our house and had them play for an hour until their parents came to pick them up.

I was so tired and was falling over because I only had an hour sleep. I was up on Friday at 7am, up all day doing laundry and cleaning the house, then I went to work at 5:00pm worked until 3:30pm.Got home at 4am. Had to clean the kitchen and the main floor all over again because Ryan didn’t get the kids to do their chores and made an absolute mess in the kitchen for dinner. I was so upset. It took me an hour to clean everything up again. I was fuming the entire time.

I made Josh a tank cake with 13 mini cupcakes around with army men on top of the mini cupcakes and 12 large cupcakes as well. It was great. I would like to have put more detail into the tank and camouflaged it more, but I was so tired. I wandered upstairs, Ryan was just waking up. It was 7:30am. I lay on top of Ryan, mumbling to him about how I was tired, how upset I was at him and once I get some sleep I was going to chew him out. He just cuddled me and exhausted I instantly fell into a deep sleep on top of him.

Next thing I knew Ryan was waking me up. It was an hour later and I had to get ready for the boys because they were arriving at 9:15am. I was so tired, I couldn’t even think straight, but I got up and got myself, the kids and everything ready to go into the van. I made it through the day and then fell asleep for 1 1/2 hr. until we had to go out for dinner with one of Ryan’s employees. It was a lot of fun. I had barely enough energy to make it through dinner. We went to 79 which is just a fabulous place to go for dinner. The place is in a house and it’s decked out all snazzy. I love going here. This is my kind of place to eat. The food is wonderful and the ambiance and company were fun.

After dinner we went out to go see Push at Chinook. It was ok. I fell asleep on the way home, stumbled in and fell asleep within 3 seconds once my head hit the pillow. I have never fallen asleep that fast before. It usually takes me 30 -45min to fall asleep, but this time I really needed it. Sunday, I awoke, went to church, came home and slept. I slept all day long. Got up for dinner, stayed up for 3 hours then went to bed again at 9pm. I was exhausted. Geez. Not getting enough sleep really effects me now. I used to be able to pull these 48 hours stints when I was in College all the time. Now… not so much. Hmm… must be getting old.

The ridiculous ball and chain is racking up my Credit Cards that I just got. I’m so pissed. After my gear goes through from Belgium I’m going to cancel it and get a new number. He has his dad’s number so he can just use that. Either that or I’ll give him my low credit card with a $500 limit on it. This way he can’t put $2000 on it without me knowing. He just thinks it’s hilarious that the roles have reversed and that I am worrying about money. I don’t appreciate that he feels the need to add to my stress. I already get stressed out so easily and I don’t handle stress very well. He knows that and yet, he’s just laughing about it. I’m so getting a new number, then not telling him what it is. He’s such a jackalope that at times I wish I was darth vader…

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time.

You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.

Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Since I have two answering machines I’ll put one on each machine.

Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you
The roses have wilted, the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl’s empty, and so is your head
The roses stink, sorta like sheep
But leave your name, number, and message after the beep
The roses are molding, the violets are rotten
And I might call you back, if I haven’t forgotten

**************

Roses are red booger’s are green please leave your message on this stupid machine.

I think they are very appropriate for this horrendous holiday of Valentines. I don’t like Valentines day either. Bleh.

The order I hate the holidays:

Christmas is the worst ever. I get physically ill in December because I hate it so much.
My birthday. I hate my birthday. Hate it to the core. Why? Cuz I never get to do what I want to do. It’s ridiculous to celebrate this.
Valentines Day - the ball and chain always fails miserably at this and I’m always the one that has to plan this day out. I’m sick of it. I hate flowers that die within a week. I always ask for a little rose bush plant so I can plant it in my garden in spring, but the request falls upon deaf ears as always.
Halloween is stressful cuz Ryan is never around so it’s up to me to get 5 kids ready to go out trick or treating. Since I’m usually disorganized when it comes to the kids it stresses me out and causes me a lot of grief and emotional turmoil.

I like Easter. I love Canada Day just cuz we always go to a parade out in Drumheller and just hang out at the splash park all day. Next are all the long weekends, cuz it means just relaxing and hanging out.

Loved it! I thought it was hilarious. It’s great for girls and for guys. It’s not really a chick flick, more of a comedy so I loved it. I thought it was so great because, some of those situations are things I’ve gone through back in the day. I howled and laughed through the movie. A great show to watch.

I went and saw it last night.Meh. It was ok. The writers just borrowed from Heroes. Instead of the company, they call it the division. Instead of all the abilities they call them pushers, movers, sniffers. Just retarded really. Heroes does a beter job. Although the only thing that makes that movie watchable is the main character. The guy is hot. Good eye candy. He’s got gorgeous eyes. That was the only thing that saved this movie was the eye candy. It was a weak plot and story line. If they make a sequel I’d wait until it came to my theater cuz I wouldn’t want to pay for it again. I didn’t have to pay for PUSH cuz I used my Scene points. Horray for free stuff.

I have been trying to buy a 250R Ninja for quite sometime now, since April 2008. They have been sold out or they were too much money.

My friend Scott, told me about a dealer out in HR. I was happy, yet pissed at the same time cuz Ryan’s shop is out there and he would drive by this Kawi dealer everyday since July 2008. Seriously, open your eyes. He’s so unobservant, it drives me nuts.

So I call the owner, who is super nice, then I go down and meet him. He’s on the hunt for a bike for me. He had 2 at the bike show for $4200. I was so upset cuz I was at the bike show and would have gotten the bike there, but didn’t know about him until after. So after a month of searching for me, he finally found a bike for me out in Camrose. I was so excited for a brief moment until he told me the price, $5070. I was upset. I could’ve bought that here in Calgary for that price.

Crushed and a little upset I called Ryan grumbling and complaining about the price. I wanted to save money on the bike because the gear is going to cost me $2000. It’s being sent from Belgium as I write! Whoo hoo!

So I asked Ryan to call the owner and see if he could use his sales skills to get me a better deal.

He called me back 15 min later and told me the good news. $500 off, so the bike will only cost me $4500. How rockin’ is THAT!?! I was so, so, so uber happy out of my mind. I was just thrilled and estatic! Huge bonus points for him because for once he has shown an interest in my bike and got me a deal. I was just freaking out, I was so excited. Horray! I’m finally going to be getting my bike!

So I ran over on Saturday and gave the dealer $2000. He’s picking up the bike this Thursday. I’m going to meet my bike on Friday. I’m so pumped. I think I”m going to call my bike Gremlin…. or Jack. I really like the name Jack for some reason. I think Jack is going to be the name… I dunno. I’ll think it over when I get to see it for the first time. I teased the owner and asked if I could have weekly visitation with my bike until I paid for all of it.

I didn’t pay for all of it because I need to put $2000 on my Credit card because all my gear is being charged to my credit card.

I’ll be picking up my bike at the end of March, this way I will have my CC all paid off and all my money for my bike. That and I don’t want to start to pay for insurance until I can ride the damn thing and that won’t be until the middle of April. Right now all the money I make goes towards my bike and my Credit Card. I hate having to be all responsible. It just bugs me. I’m going to leave my Credit Card at home now tucked in my shoe hanger so I don’t feel tempted to use it to buy stuff. I just want to quickly pay it off. I’m going to work a bit more so I can get more money honey. I just need to work more in the evenings so I don’t have to have a babysitter cost. I’m also going to do work from home or head in for a couple hours at a time at the theater as well. I need to have no debts by March 31, 2009 because I’m going to be out of commission for 2 weeks and won’t be able to work. Then I have to work like crazy so I can save up money to go to Hawaii in June.

Ryan is now coming with me cuz he wants to come. That and he said he’d pay for the entire thing. So, I’m happy about that. I do want to save money for Hawaii though because then if Ryan balks or complains about something I want to do I’ll just be like, forget you, I’m going whether you like it or not cuz I’ve got the money and I’m doing it. Once my mind is set to do something, I’m dogged determined to see it through and get it done. I just fixate and focus on that one thing until I get it. I usually get what I want. Determination and perseverance pays off.

I’ll be up for 48 hours baking a cake, taking care of kids, working and doing Josh’s birthday party. I’m so freakn’ exhausted. I left a note with all the things that I wanted to have done when I got home, but when I got home at 4am nothing was done. Nothing. Dishes were still in the dishwasher. Dirty dishes in the sink. Ryan must have made supper for himself because there was dirty dishes on the stove, on the island and in the sink. The floor had a bran muffin scattered all around from I’m assuming Luke’s terror. The laundry wasn’t folded and the floors were not swept. So now I have to spend an hour cleaning up instead of going straight to decorate the tank cake that Josh wants for his birthday.

I’m so disappointed, frustrated and upset. I really wish Ryan would pull his weight around the house. All he had to do was follow the list I gave him and get the kids to do their chores. I work too and yet he still doesn’t feel that he has to do anything around the house. I’m so angry. I wish he would just help out, especially before a big day. He’s so lazy around the house it drives me crazy. I’m sure he just went and watched TV downstairs all night long again.

I’m so mad. Crap like this just makes me want to leave. Just pack my junk and get the hell out of this life and start new somewhere else. Just disappear. Arg.

I wish I had a pause button so I could just stop time, take a nap, then clean up and finishing doing the cake. I hate how time just marches on and I never seem to be capable of keeping up.

The birthday party should be fun though. Taking 10 kids over to lasertek, having pizza and cake, then off to the movies, then home. 9am - 4pm. It’s going to be a long day. I hope I can crash and sleep somewhere… I’m going to have to take some chai and Red Bull to keep my awake.

At the dinner table Josh shoves his fork in his mouth so it’s sticking out sideways like a dog bone.

“Do you know why I’m doing this?” He asks us his eyes dancing with mischief.

We all just pause and stare at him for a second.

Without missing a beat Mya pipes up and says, “Because you’re a freak?”

We all burst into laughter. She is picking up my phrases so quickly.

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We are having some of the black tie mousse cake.
Mya comes up and says, “Can I have some cow cake please?”

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For Christmas Mya got a Barbie doll that sings. When she opens it up and discovered it she says, “Oh yea!!! Now when I sing, boys will come to me!”

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Brandon was being very naughty. I got mad at him and said, “Brandon, you’re 6 now. You need to behave! I want you to be good and listen to what I say!!!”
Brandon looks at me and says, “Well, I’m still 5. I turn 6 tomorrow.”