I just want to push pause on life.
I’ll be up for 48 hours baking a cake, taking care of kids, working and doing Josh’s birthday party. I’m so freakn’ exhausted. I left a note with all the things that I wanted to have done when I got home, but when I got home at 4am nothing was done. Nothing. Dishes were still in the dishwasher. Dirty dishes in the sink. Ryan must have made supper for himself because there was dirty dishes on the stove, on the island and in the sink. The floor had a bran muffin scattered all around from I’m assuming Luke’s terror. The laundry wasn’t folded and the floors were not swept. So now I have to spend an hour cleaning up instead of going straight to decorate the tank cake that Josh wants for his birthday.
I’m so disappointed, frustrated and upset. I really wish Ryan would pull his weight around the house. All he had to do was follow the list I gave him and get the kids to do their chores. I work too and yet he still doesn’t feel that he has to do anything around the house. I’m so angry. I wish he would just help out, especially before a big day. He’s so lazy around the house it drives me crazy. I’m sure he just went and watched TV downstairs all night long again.
I’m so mad. Crap like this just makes me want to leave. Just pack my junk and get the hell out of this life and start new somewhere else. Just disappear. Arg.
I wish I had a pause button so I could just stop time, take a nap, then clean up and finishing doing the cake. I hate how time just marches on and I never seem to be capable of keeping up.
The birthday party should be fun though. Taking 10 kids over to lasertek, having pizza and cake, then off to the movies, then home. 9am - 4pm. It’s going to be a long day. I hope I can crash and sleep somewhere… I’m going to have to take some chai and Red Bull to keep my awake.
